I don't know what to do and I am at the end of my rope. My Mom has dementia and refuses to wear underwear or depends (I NEVER use the word diaper). She has frequent accidents. She wets herself every day and has frequent issues with food sensitivities that give her sudden diarrhea. When I ask her nicely to make sure she is wearing her undergarments, she has angry outbursts, yells at me, says she doesn't want to live anymore and storms off to her room and cries. She says she will just live in her bedroom. But, because of her dementia, she comes out ten minutes later completely forgetting everything and we are at square one again. I have a young son and babysit young children. They have witnessed her accidents and outbursts after and it is quite traumatic for them. Not to mention the fact that I am just so tired of cleaning up after her. She can't be reasoned with. I can't deal with the constant conflict. How can I get her to just put on some underwear to make clean up easier on all of us?
3 Answers
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First
Who knows, if she treasures the images sufficiently (even to the point of personifying the association), she may feel protective and not wish to soil them.
If you could promote this 'relationship' concept, it could prove doubly helpful for you too...
ADVERTISEMENT
Mother doesn't have a choice any longer if she wants to stay with you; these are the house rules. If she becomes comfortable wearing the jumpsuit and the Depends, you may be able to get rid of the jumpsuit and segue back into street clothes one day, who knows? The other end of the bargain is she gets changed REGULARLY. That's not open for discussion either. So she either goes along with the rules or she gets placed. There's no 'reasoning' with dementia, and she can cry all she wants to, but she's going to be dressed in a new jumpsuit every morning and that's that. You should also speak to her PCP about possible medication to calm her; she may be suffering agitation and a mild sedative may help make her more compliant.
Here is a link to the anti-strip jumpsuits page on Amazon:
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=alzheimers+jumpsuit&crid=15I8XKJFC340Z&sprefix=alzheimers+jum%2Caps%2C199&ref=nb_sb_ss_ts-doa-p_1_14
Wishing you the best of luck laying down some new rules at home!!!