How do I forgive myself for the mean things I said to my MIL that I care for in my home?
I'm stressed and losing my sense of self. Taking care of someone with dementia 24/7 is so much harder than I realized. I got myself into this, and now I'm losing myself to being a caretaker. Resentment is making me feel guilty.
My Mom was easy to care for but it was like dealing with a toddler. Even though you know its the desease, you still lose it. I just prayed she would forget what I said. I try not to dwell on it because ... I was the only one that seemed to care of her kids. We are not made to care for someone 24/7 and anyone who can without getting stressed is a Saint.
Tell your husband its getting too much u need help. Also understand you may not be able to do this indefinitely. There comes a time when placing them is the best thing. If she has money, a nice AL nearby. The first night Mom was placed in an AL I got a full nights sleep. She was up every night about 3 am.
Forgive yourself by realizing you’re only human and this has quickly become too much for any one human. Be honest with your husband about how it’s going, your fears for your marriage, and the concerns of not being enough help for her. Her care is more than one person can sustain, reaching your limit and being frustrated is more than understandable. Be adamant that you can’t continue as it is
[Everyone should go and have a quick read of your profile, by the way.]
You've been locked up as sole caregiver for eight months with a lady who has moderate to severe dementia (leaving aside the occasional incontinence). It's a wonder you're not banging your own head against the wall.
How close is lockdown easing in your neighbourhood? How long until you might be able to access help, and perhaps respite care, and then have a look at sustainable longer-term options?
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Tell your husband its getting too much u need help. Also understand you may not be able to do this indefinitely. There comes a time when placing them is the best thing. If she has money, a nice AL nearby. The first night Mom was placed in an AL I got a full nights sleep. She was up every night about 3 am.
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Please forgive yourself. It’s easy to snap when you are struggling with this situation.
Hugs.
[Everyone should go and have a quick read of your profile, by the way.]
You've been locked up as sole caregiver for eight months with a lady who has moderate to severe dementia (leaving aside the occasional incontinence). It's a wonder you're not banging your own head against the wall.
How close is lockdown easing in your neighbourhood? How long until you might be able to access help, and perhaps respite care, and then have a look at sustainable longer-term options?