In the past few months her mind seems to be leaving her, even she said so. My niece said so. She didn't even know her name. Mama acts like she doesn't know who I am. She even called the police on me for being out on our our farm, which I lived there since I was five so it's not a problem and it was never a problem before. We loved each other, we never had any trouble and I've always talked to her regularly. A very good relationship. All of a sudden taking a turn to where I don't even know what's going on with her. I don't know why she's not remembering anything, I don't know why she had to go to hospice, I don't know why DSS is in on it and I think my nephew may know but I cannot get anyone to talk to me. Mama just doesn't know anything, she just doesn't even know me hardly. I just need to know how to find out what is wrong with her, what is wrong with her mind, how far it progressed in a few months, two or three months, because it's only been a couple of months since we were on good terms and I was out there helping her clean my grandfather's building up and stuff. So anyway, there's no estrangement. I love my mother I want to help care for her, I want to be knowledgeable about her condition and I want access to her house in case she needs me or I need to get to her, and I need to know who to talk to. She has a social worker, she has three nurses and I need to be informed. I need to know that's my mother. Who do I call? How do I find out now? I really don't even know how to ask these questions cuz I'm so gobsmacked. I need to get to my mama through her mind blockage, whether it be meds she's on for the MS or dementia. My grandmother died of Alzheimer's. Regardless, I could not live with myself if my mother passed or something happened to her and I wasn't there please help me... desperately.
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"Only reason I can't is the code on her door my nephew has applied mama doesn't know the code."
Are you saying that no one can get to her? Can she get out? If she is left alone and can't get out of the house, that is endangerment. Its a fire hazard. I may call Adult Protection Services and tell them about this. Tell them DSS is involved but you can't get thru to them or get answers.
Yes, I could try, but she gets upset so easily and stress is toxic for her. I talk to her still Almost daily ... just not about medical ugh. I can't ask them. Everyone has passed except my sister who is a thief and not welcome because she stole from mama and granny. Also a drug addict My nephew won't talk to me or mama says he won't. She won't give me his number. Says he's mad at me for not helping more but haven't talked to him since he moved into my mamas house i don't know. I can tell you I've never done anything to either of them and always been there for them both if I could. No conflict at all with me. I let her down I guess when I couldn't get to her. That's what she says about her my nephew she says he's mad for the same reason.
There is no more family other than my son who is great. My nephew doesn't work and lives in mamas other house that I grew up in. I couldn't be there when mama moved to granny's due to my own issues. I did help, alot as much as possible. Always talking and laughing with her. However, due to my location distance and transportation deficiency I could not do it daily unless I stayed with her which she denied Me because of benefits from hired help might be cut.
Only reason I can't is the code on her door my nephew has applied mama doesn't know the code. I've always been very close with my parents and grandparents. Not estranged
How in the world do I get in touch with the sw? I only know her first name I had her number but lost the phone it was in.
When my grand parents and daddy passed. All of them.... Gone.... inside a year I had been through horrible divorce. Myself and my son's mobile home was in my exes name and removed from my parcel. I was God smacked and had a breakdown. Still staying close. Always s. Then the ex let my insurance lapse while saying he'd paid it so my license were suspended. Didn't know until police took tag off van one night then the ex told me what he had done so that's all. You are current with anything that possibly could constitute the detachment
She has MS. I'm simply assuming dementia due to her vacant state. She didn't.know my niece last week when we were visiting and never remembers anymore. Same questions day after day same answers nothing changes. She forgets , I believe.
Please remember I'm trying to also respect the matriarch of my family not to shame or embarrass her in any way. I love her and promised daddy on his death bed in hospice I would see to it she was taken care of
Thank you so much. Appologies for such horrible grammar. It was on text to speak didn't proof. #Discombobulated. This has just recently gotten so crazy and seemingly estranged. Please what can I do without having to go toe to toe with my mom's. Because stress.... Toxic for MS. Also? I'm in SC.
One more thing? My nephew is living in mamas big house for free with his girl and I believe living off of her because he hasn't worked since my daddy died 7 years ago neither does the girl. I hope you see more than one reason fory concern and need to find out what I'm not being told. Can you advise anything conducive to production of health, happiness, and peace of mind for me? I get a feeling too that mama may be afraid of my nephew having her put in a home or something. I don't mean physically. Just that his support system solo may be self serving to say the least.
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Not to be harsh, because you are obviously struggling--but your post was really difficult to read, to get to the core of what you are asking.
You live on mom's property?
You can't just TALK to mom, face to face?
You seem to think other members of the family have more information than you have, try talking to them?
She has a SW? Can't you talk to her?
Is there some reason you can't go into her house?
Your mom has MS? She's on meds for that, and for dementia?
It sounds as if you are in the UK, where rules and such can be very different that here in the states.
I'm sorry you are struggling--I think that all you can do right now is try to talk to mom in person, and also the SW. IF mom has excluded you from her 'care plan' for some reason, the SW should know.
For future posts--please break your comments into paragraphs. I had a hard time following your train of thought. A lot of people will see a run-on sentence and not even bother trying to read it through.
Good Luck. I hope that one of the people you mentioned can help you gain access to mom.