What else can I do to help myself?

Anche, I have no idea what's available in Italy, especially in terms of additional home care or alternate living facilities.  But I do have a cousin who married into an Italian family, and know how tight they in terms of family relationships.  

Are there any cousins or other family members who could provide some relief?   Does the local community government offer respite?    Anyone from your local church?   I know that the pandemic limits some of these options, making it even more challenging.

Even if not, are you able to set aside some time for yourself each day, either before or after work?   This sounds simple, and I know it's not, but if you can create some down time with your mother, when you just talk, or listen to music, then you're both relaxing.   

Yoga is an excellent relaxation and diversion technique; so is music, and so are flowers.   I have displays of artificial flowers in every room except the bathroom, and every time I see them, I'm calmed more than I was before.

I wish I could be more helpful; I've been through some experiences like this, and music was always my first "go-to".     One aria that always took me out of my world was La Donna e Mobile, sung of course by Pavarotti.    I felt like I was soaring when I listened to him.   

I found a video and presumably audio (I don't have speakers set up) of a young Pavarotti, with all his charm and tremendous talent; take some time and listen to him spread the beauty of opera.   I hope it relaxes you.   But don't soar; we don't want to read that you've fallen trying to fly as your listen to this beautiful aria.

https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=La++Donna+e+Mobile&view=detail&mid=38EA03BCB75C58DEEC3F38EA03BCB75C58DEEC3F&FORM=VIRE0&ru=%2fsearch%3fq%3dLa%2b%2bDonna%2be%2bMobile%26form%3dIENTHT%26pc%3dEUPP_DCJB%26mkt%3den-us%26httpsmsn%3d1%26msnews%3d1%26refig%3d1ffda9d0c4094ae2fe5f457fb09c80eb%26sp%3d-1%26pq%3dla%2bdonna%2be%2bmobile%26sc%3d9-17%26qs%3dn%26sk%3d%26cvid%3d1ffda9d0c4094ae2fe5f457fb09c80eb

Do you have siblings? If so it's time for them to step up and do their part. It's not fair for them to expect you to do it all.

Anche, tell us why you think a good care facility will "kill" her.

It's a common misperception.

You are one person. With a job and a family. No ONE person can care for an elder like you are doing.

Your needs are as important as your mother's.

First, Happy Easter!!! I pray you will get to enjoy the day with your family, Tiramisu or no Tiramisu.
Second, you MUST take time away for just you, to do things you enjoy, even if it's just taking a walk around your neighborhood, or going to lunch with a friend. It can be simple things, but their value is priceless when it comes to restoring our attitude, and rejuvenating our souls.
Third, it may be time to be looking into other care options for your mom, like placing her in the appropriate facility, where she will receive the 24/7 care she needs, and you can get back to just being her daughter.
And last but not least, please take care of yourself. Your mom would not want you jeopardizing your mental and physical health to take care of her. You have a lot more living to do, so now it's time to do what is best for all involved. May God bless you and keep you.

Thank you Barb! Your version of tiramisu sounds delicious!
I so understand what you mean!
Yes we have an elderly home not far, I also get in touch with one for a respite period this August when we will be on holidays. But because of the Covid pandemic they still do not know if they will take people in.
About aging parents and children I just said this morning that having a child was my decision and desire so it is not the same, not as many people see it. I never wanted my mum to be ill... And to go through this. I don't want my son to ever go through this.

Oh Anche! It's NOT stupid!

I think part of what makes caregiving so hard is the mistaken notion that we should enjoy doing it, that it's a blessing, and honor and other hogwash.

The only thing as far as I can tell that is the same about parenthood and eldercare is that it is hard, backbreaking unpaid labor that the world expects women to do with a smile.

It is inconvenient and it gets in the way of the stuff that we WANT to do.

Your frustration is valid and understandable.

Are there homes for the elderly in Italy thay might provide a solution when the pandemic is over?

I SOOO miss making tiramisu for big family celebrations. I sometimes make an unorthodox version where I substitute a fruit based syrup for the coffee and add white chocolate to the mascarpone/egg/cream.