Find Senior Care (City or Zip)
Join Now Log In
M
MHHE1967 Asked April 2021

How can I get the truth from memory care staff? The manager and staff give conflicting stories about my aunt being locked out of her room.

The manager said the staff has started locking my aunt out of her room during the daytime because she keeps making a mess with her belongings. My aunt doesn’t know what she’s doing. That creates extra work for them because they clean her room daily. The manager also said the staff only allows her to return to her room at bedtime.


However, when I asked the executive manager and a lower level staff member about it they said that she was Not locked out of her room. It sounds like the right hand doesn’t know what the left hand is doing.


I am not allowed to visit in her section because of Covid-19. My aunt is very forgetful and I can’t rely on what she says. How do I find out the truth and correct the problem, if needed? She’s paying a lot of money and they have no right to lock her out of her private room. It sounds like the staff is punishing her for inconveniencing them.

MHHE1967 Apr 2021
I don’t know if cameras are legal in a private memory care room in our state. Do you know of a website that I could use to find that info? But, even if they are, no one is allowed to visit the residents’ rooms because of Covid. I will feel much more at ease when I can go there. I just have to take their word for most things.
NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2021
Our current governor has allowed the use of cameras in facilities here.

Call your governor’s office or just ask the facility if cameras are allowed.
MJ1929 Apr 2021
I'd !e interested in knowing who exactly says this, because my mom's memory care has no locks on the residents' rooms -- only on their closets.
JoAnn29 Apr 2021
I like the lock on closets. Mom used to put her clean clothes in the dirty clothes basket.

ADVERTISEMENT


MHHE1967 Apr 2021
P.S. This is only her third week there and I haven’t met other families. We are not allowed to go to her room because of Covid.

BurntCaregiver Apr 2021
It wouldn't surprise me if they're locking her out of her room during the day or if they're punishing her for the inconvenience. Right you are about it costing a fortune for a person to be in a care facility. That doesn't mean the facility keeps enough help on staff to get all the work done the right way. They don't and the aides who have to clean up after your aunt aren't earning a very good wage and have to do for many other people as well.
Are you friendly with the families of any other residents in your aunt's care facility? It's never a bad idea to get to know family members of other residents who visit at different times.
If you can get friendly with a few, it only takes a second for one to walk past your aunt's door and see if it's locked or not.
With Covid going on, this isn't possible right now. It might not even be possible for you to slip one of the aides a bit of cash incentive on the down-low to tell the truth about what's going with your aunt at the facility. Until Covid restrictions are lifted your aunt will have to put up with it.
SusanHeart Apr 2021
unfortunately it is a plague among AL, NH,RC facilities, short staff is a common theme among them all and COVID has not helped the situation. The AL MC my dad is at has been looking for a DON for the past 7 months and CNA seniority is counted by the months unfortunately as this impacts the level stability needed by our LOs.
JoAnn29 Apr 2021
I just want to say that I fully appreciate the work that Aides do in ALs, MCs and NHs. They do the dirty work and get low pay for doing it, But like every job, there are those who go that xtra mile and those who do just what they need to do.

JoAnn29 Apr 2021
She is paying for that room. In my opinion, she has a right to come and go as she pleases. But then I see the aides point. MCs ratio of aides to residents is low. I know if you could, you would clean up the mess. My Mom used to throw clean clothes in the wash. I then put them back on the hanger. I did her wash and I was there daily for a short time so I knew what she had worn.

I would wonder how she is "trashing" it. Like u say, you may be able to remedy that. Take things away she doesn't need. Put them high on a shelf where she can't reach. I find that aides don't look for solutions. Like with my Mom, aide told me she wasn't brushing her teeth. My response, "are u putting the toothpaste on the brush and handing it to her" response "no". I am not a trained aide and I knew that much.

The states oversee MCs. I would call your State Ombudsman and ask if this is legal. She is a resident (not patient) and is paying rent, alot of rent. I would also ask the director of the AL if it was possible to have a meeting with all the people together that u have talked to because their info is conflicting. It can be held outdoors. Stress you would like to get to the bottom of what the problem is so u can solve it. Because, you feel that your Aunt rights are being infringed on. She pays big time for that room and she needs to be able to use it when she wants.

cwillie Apr 2021
I've no doubt it has happened, but it isn't all the staff all the time, and it definitely isn't something that would be sanctioned by upper management KWIM?

AnnReid Apr 2021
Well......in EXACTLY the same situation, I had a sense of confidence that since my aunt had the use of a beautiful large gathering room/dining room, and since the reason her door was locked because she was attempting to sleep 24 hours a day, no harm was coming to her because she was “locked out”.

With a year gone from Covid, (new room), I know she naps for a short time after lunch.

In every situation (more than 3) in which I’ve dealt with a Loved One living in residential care, it has been my personal experience that the “....have no right...” “....punishing her...” approach to oversight has not usually proven as effective as
“....I was wondering about why....” or “.......could you keep me in the loop if......”.

My LO is also in a very nice, well run MCU, and also pays A LOT to be there. You sound like a loving, conscientious care giver, and I hope I do too. I’ve also been in a Covid hot spot for over a year, and despite absolutely METICULOUS attention, my LO DID get, and recover from Covid, and I got it and recovered too.

Covid has been a ruin to so SO MANY, and the anxiety alone of not being able to surveillance her life has been torment. I know I’m not giving you much by way of answers, but I’m hoping it helps at least a tiny bit to know that you’re not alone in trying to puzzle this stuff out.
TRLRLR May 2021
Another note for my communication toolbox, AnnReid: "it has been my personal experience that the “....have no right...” “....punishing her...” approach to oversight has not usually proven as effective as “....I was wondering about why....” or “.......could you keep me in the loop if......”. Thank you!
NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2021
That’s crazy to lock her out of her own room.

I wish you could be a fly on the wall to see for yourself. It’s one room. How much mess can she possibly make? Do they tell you exactly what kind of mess?

How do you know who to believe with hearing conflicting stories?

Do they allow cameras? Is it legal in your state?

ADVERTISEMENT

Ask a Question

Subscribe to
Our Newsletter