I'm so conflicted with the decision to start the admittance "machinery" that will ultimately place my husband in Memory Care.
DH (81) has Alzheimer's approximately 4-5 years and he started declining rapidly the last month. He has Prostate issues that necessitate he wear a Foley Catheter. He's been in the ER 5 times with UTIs since September 2020. When he's in the throes of a UTI he gets combative. I'm afraid he's going to damage himself or me. He struck me in the throes of a UTI pain episode - so uncharacteristic from the sweet caring man he once was. He's incontinent and has Sundowner's causing me to get very little sleep.
I'm worn out physically and emotionally. I'm 83, frail, live with consistent pain and I tire easily. I have asthma/COPD, and I've had 6 joint replacement.
I'm working with an Elder Law Attorney to properly place him, the attorney has been a godsend.
Thanks for "listening".
3 Answers
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First
Good luck to you.
You’ll be able to better care for yourself, which means you can just be his loving, caring wife again.
It will take awhile for you both to become comfortable.
Keep coming back here. We care.
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It's unreasonable to expect anyone to provide 24/7 care for a dementia patient. For a "frail" octogenarian like yourself it's literally impossible. You're doing the right thing. Placement makes life safer for BOTH of you.