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cindybeatrice Asked May 2021

How do I help my 97 year old friend go through divorce?

Beatty May 2021
Agree, emotional support.

Or are you are asking how to help your friend actually take steps to get divorced?
I wouldn't not be stepping into that territory at all...

Is your friend unsafe? Being abused in some way?

NeedHelpWithMom May 2021
Just allow her to feel what she feels. Don’t criticize her. Listen to her.

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JoAnn29 May 2021
Who is divorcing and why. Is this a second marriage and the children are trying to protect the spouses assets? Does friend or spouse have Dementia because if do cannot make the informed decision to divorce.

More info please.

Geaton777 May 2021
I'm trying to wrap my head around this situation. Were they married long? What reason does your friend give for the divorce? I'm asking because your friend could be telling you something that is only in his/her mind, perhaps as a result of dementia or other cognitive issue. My 99-yr old aunt imagines all sorts of things about people having bad or evil intentions towards her. Do you know if this person has any family support? Do you know any of their family members personally? Do they live in their own home or IL/AL? Whether it's real or imagined, it's so sad. As others have said, being a good listener will be most helpful.

Grandma1954 May 2021
What kind of help does she or he need?
You continue to be a friend.
You do NOT partake in any remarks about the soon to be then later the "ex"
If your friend wants to vent, let them vent but do not add fuel to the fire.
(you never know when remarks you make will come back and bite you. If they later become friends she or he will remember every remark you had made.)
I suggest that you do not let your friend move in with you unless you are prepared to....
Establish very strict ground rules right from the start.
Have what might be a permanent houseguest.
Become a caregiver. (not sure of your age but a 97 year old may need help sooner rather than later.)
Be prepared to lose a friend if you have to "kick" them out if they overstay their welcome.
Do not loan any money unless you do not expect to get repaid. (Never loan more than you can afford to loose.)

AlvaDeer May 2021
Offer emotional support. Don't give advice. Instead simply be there to listen. Same as you would offer support for anyone going through divorce.

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