Hi, I need my mother to go see a doctor. She has gone downhill so quickly and she has never been diagnosed for anything. Advice?
She also looks after my dad who has Parkinson's. Myself and my sister take turns to stay. She gets extremely forgetful and calls people by wrong names. She also does not make sense sometimes when talking. She absolutely refuses to see a doctor.
Your mom could be experiencing a UTI, something that is extremely common in elderly women, and not necessarily related to hygiene, but by the physiological changes we experience with age. Often the only symptom they have is changes in cognition or behavior (including confusion).
If I were you, I'd use a "therapeutic fib" to get her to be seen: "Social security now requires an annual physical in order to authorize your payments" or, Medicare, or whatever you think will motivate her to go. Once there, discretely hand the staff a pre-written note outlining your concerns, what relationship you are to her and to check her for a UTI and give her a cognitive exam. They will be happy to do this. If she does have a UTI this is treatable with antibiotics but you must be on guard for future ones.
Once she is checked you have a starting point. If she has cognitive decline then her PoA needs to check the document to see what is required to activate their authority and begin to advocate for her, starting with securing all her sensitive financial information and helping her and your dad so that their daily lives aren't dangerous or chaotic. Whoever is the PoA for your dad will also need to do the same.
I'm not sure what you can do for your mother if she's unwilling to go to the doctor. If you are listed on her HIPAA form, maybe you can talk to the doctor about her situation. It could be stress-related or something much worse.
I'm sure there are others on the forum that will have better advice/suggestions.
It has to be stressful for you and your sister (and your mother and father too), Hope you find a solution to help your mom.
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If I were you, I'd use a "therapeutic fib" to get her to be seen: "Social security now requires an annual physical in order to authorize your payments" or, Medicare, or whatever you think will motivate her to go. Once there, discretely hand the staff a pre-written note outlining your concerns, what relationship you are to her and to check her for a UTI and give her a cognitive exam. They will be happy to do this. If she does have a UTI this is treatable with antibiotics but you must be on guard for future ones.
Once she is checked you have a starting point. If she has cognitive decline then her PoA needs to check the document to see what is required to activate their authority and begin to advocate for her, starting with securing all her sensitive financial information and helping her and your dad so that their daily lives aren't dangerous or chaotic. Whoever is the PoA for your dad will also need to do the same.
Does she allow your father to receive medical and nursing care?
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I'm sure there are others on the forum that will have better advice/suggestions.
It has to be stressful for you and your sister (and your mother and father too), Hope you find a solution to help your mom.