Am I doing Memory Support nurses’ job?

No, they will call you just in case you can be such a "known" that they will be snapped back into reality, comforted from hearing from someone they trust that they are OK, and in the right place. If you do not want to be called you will have to be certain this is a part of the "care plan" that is in front of staff on duty at all time. They will call only one person. The POA, or the one listed to RECEIVE calls. If you don't wish to be the one receiving calls, and another person will be that person, then let them know who should be called.
Again, if you do not wish to be called for this sort of thing, let them know, or let them know when they call you don't wish to speak to her and cannot do this, she isn't comforted by hearing from you. It makes things worse for you both. You may need to tell them that you wish to hear from them only in emergency (ie she is ill and needs to be transferred to hospital; or she is out of control and needs to go for assessment, medication assessment, or whatever) . You can work this out with the facility. Call and arrange an appointment by phone or otherwise with the administration on Monday. Wishing you the best of luck in getting this worked out. So sorry. Here she is in placement and you are still worrying and having problems. It is often the way, especially when seniors become upset in care.

Occasionally calling you OK but if it becomes a habit themn i would say something. The staff should be people well trained in caring for people with Dementia. Mom is paying big time to be there. I agree, they should be able to handle the situation.

Thank you all. I have notified the nursing staff that I cannot do these types of calls. This is my boundary.

Try not to overthink it. Sometimes staff can de-escalate, sometimes not. Sometimes a call to family may help, sometimes not. Staff just circle around different strategies, hoping one will work.

If you can give 5 mins for that sort of call, give 5 mins & then wind it up. If you realise when answering if it 'one of those days' & you have 0 to give. That's ok too.

When the patient can't be reasoned with by a stranger (the nurse), I can't imagine why you wouldn't want them to call a family member. If you don't want to be that person, fine -- give them the number of the POA sibling and wash your hands of it.

It is possible that your mom was so upset that the nursing staff thought a call to you would settle her down.

Not off base, in my opinion.

The nurse should not be calling you in these situations.

My mother’s MC only calls me to discuss routine medical issues, like med changes.

Maybe a call to The Director of Nursing is in order here.