Hi everyone. My LO repeats these things every day without a minute break. When will this end?

My mother does the same thing; she's at the advanced stage of dementia now. It comes and goes, though. Some days are worse than others. She lives in Memory Care Assisted Living, thank God, so the caregivers just try to distract her. When she calls me with the wanting to go home, I know she's in need of comfort, and try to soothe her the best I can. The worst part is that she KNOWS she's confused most times........and it's heartbreaking, and why I hate dementia with every ounce of my being.

I don't know if/when this stage of the process ends, either. Perhaps your mother's doctor can prescribe a mild sedative to calm her down a bit, but who knows if that will even work? There seems to be a malfunction in the part of the brain that governs the 'home' message with folks who suffer from dementia, because SO many repeat this same mantra. They have no idea where 'home' is, or what it even signifies, just that they don't belong where they're at and need to be elsewhere. It's a quest for comfort, I believe, or for a place and time when they were happy and not suffering from this debilitating dementia syndrome.

You can try getting her a baby doll to 'care' for, which often helps as it gives her something to FOCUS on rather than where she 'needs to be'. Being needed again seems to calm down some elders with dementia, even men. When I worked in a Memory Care ALF last year, we had quite a few men and women who carried around and cared for baby dolls which kept them occupied for hours. You can get one on eBay for a reasonable price; be sure to get a swaddle blanket too.

Wishing you the best of luck with a tough situation.

One thing to try, at least for an hour or two, is industrial strength ear plugs, or head phones. Listening to this isn’t doing either of you any good. It’s going nowhere for her, and making things harder for you. You can give yourself some quiet time. She might even realise it’s pointless and stop. Don’t tell yourself that it’s disrespectful, it’s not – just practical.

Oh my goodness. I feel your distress. I spent twelve hours with my mom in the emergency department and she was none stop negotiating for "going home". "Can I sit up? Can I move to the edge of the gurney? Can I just stand up for a minute? Can I sit in the little chair with wheels? No? Can I sit in the regular chair? Yes. Can I move the chair to the hall? No. (Proceeded to rock chair across room to door frame and attempt to stand up. Had to put my chair in doorway to stop the advance) "What time are we going home? : Transport will be here at 3:00a.m. "What time is it now?" "2.00a.m." What time will they be here?" "3:00a.m." ....."What time is it now? And in between each verbal exchange "What?" and then "please, don't yell at me, but what time is it and when are they going to pick us up?

If she is being seen by a physician it might be a kindness for you both if she were given a trial of a small dose of antidepressant or anti anxiety medication.

The constant repetition can certainly be related to anxiety, and it sounds as though she may be past the point where she’d be able to tell you if something was bothering her.

My mother did far better in residential care when this would happen than she did at home with me. Remember, care requires a balance.

I’m sorry for your frustration. Do you have any help to give you a break? Have you consulted her doctor to see if there’s a medicine to help calm her anxiety?