What have you learned from your caregiving experience? Will you make changes in your life to fulfill your desires/needs as you grow older?

How exciting! NHWM.

I love new houses. I love going shopping for and decorating new houses. I just dread the packing and moving part.

I hope you find the perfect place for you and your hubby.

Good luck, NHWM, I hope your move goes smoothly.

After 25 yrs, my wife and I downsized from a 4 bedrm 2 story to an 1100 sq ft condo after living as empty nesters for a couple of years. After her death in 2018, I decided to put the condo up for sale. During my 22 yrs there I was very active in the condo assn but still felt lonely. What I was missing was the early morning coffee and conversations with my wife. What I was tired of were the too frequent fast foods, and making my own limited menu (although my chili is pretty good, one can't live on chili).

I upgraded the bathrooms, made some other changes and called the realtor. The “nice” thing was that I didn't have to get her OK for the changes, I did what I wanted. I came to the conclusion that independent living might be the answer. A chance for interaction with other residents, a morning coffee klatch, and 3 meals a day, among other amenities. I moved into this facility in Mar of 2020. Unfortunately, so did COVID. The place came to a screeching halt. No meals in the dining room (meals were delivered to each room), no activities, no visitors. Actually, it's sort of funny. It's starting to open up finally so it might work out after all. Anyway, I'm here to stay. I think you'll be happy with your decision to move also.

NHWM,

We moved from Buffalo to Florida, downsizing from a hundred year old home to an open-ish plan condo.

We gave away furniture, my entire trove of teacher items, my grown children’s things, and on and on.

I am glad that my children do not have to deal with at least that much of our “stuff”. I continue to try and stay on top of things. If I don’t “love” something, I get rid of it.

I, like others here, do not want to live into extreme old age. I want to take what I’ve learned on this forum, and create a document that my family can reference.

I have learned that I will NEVER allow my children to care for me if the need should arise, and I have told them both as much. They both saw what I went through caring for my husband, their stepfather, and the toll it took on me. My daughter tries to argue that she wants to at least try before she would place me somewhere, but I've made it clear to her and in all my legal paperwork that it will not happen.
I've also learned that I probably will never marry again, as I don't ever want to be a caregiver again. I loved my husband very much and was glad that I was able to care for him to the end, but no thank you, I don't want to play that game again. It's now my time to do what I want, if I want and when I want. Some may say that's selfish, but I believe I've earned it.

Best wishes in your downsizing quest NHWM. Time to simplify. I'm all about that. I hate clutter as well, and am grateful that my house is on the smaller side, and all on one level, so it's easy to keep clean and maintain.
Change while sometimes hard, is usually always for the best.

NHWM, I am so pleased to hear about your exciting downsize. It IS exciting! I think many of us have that temperment that we are sensitive to what we need & love to plan a change & head towards it. Sometimes the most fun is the planning & anticipation.

I'm also planning to do same. It's a little cloud of a dream yet.. but I have some nice sketchbooks to doodle in, the internet to surf for ideas. Taking steps on the practical stuff too like actually finding a place & contacting real estate agents.

Very happy to cheer you on! 😍

I would love to hear from people that have moved and downsized. How did it work out for you?

I do feel that we have learned from our prior experience as caregivers that there are many things that we want to change or do different from those we cared for.

I totally agree with MJ that quality of life is better than the quantity of time we live. I also feel that we can make choices that suits our needs/desires rather than taking meds that may prolong our lives but complicate issues. It is a tricky situation and has to be discussed thoroughly with a doctor. I know that after reaching a certain age, I would never even consider chemo for cancer or surgery of any kind.

My sister takes blood thinners. Luckily falls have reduced this year to 4 (from 12 or so the years before..) Have been told a big head strike could be disastrous - yet - without the thinners, would have suffered stroke or heart attack long ago. I suppose it is a risk vs return...

Myself right now? Nope. I don't want those thinners either!

It's easy to say now, since we're young(ish) and healthy, but my husband and I both have decided that blood thinning medication is not for us. There are so many awful side effects, and his dad fell, hit his head, and being the stubborn guy he was, said he was fine. Well, he had a brain bleed and was dead in 24 hours.

My mom has been on blood thinners from 2014 until the past couple of months. She had Covid in January, and while she wasn't terribly sick, now she has all sorts of weird bleeding issues she never had before, and they've had to take her off the thinners. Her hospice nurse expects her to have a stroke at some point, and I honestly can't help but wonder if she was meant to check out seven years ago rather than drag on to 92 years old just existing.

I have no interest in living to my 90s and hope I don't. I won't do a lot to ensure my heart keeps ticking just to say it is. I want quality, not quantity of life.