What can be done when siblings don’t help or give of their time even after you reached out to them to pick a night to spend with Mom?

I had the same issues with my siblings. There isn’t anything that you can do. I feel like the more I focused on my siblings, the more I became stuck in resentment and bitterness. What good did that do? Maybe my feelings were valid in some ways but I would have helped myself more if I had focused on solutions rather than wishing for things that weren’t feasible at that point in time. I couldn’t make my siblings want to help me.

I feel your pain. I know the stress and heartache of being a caregiver. I hope that you will find a viable solution soon. Reach out to Council of Aging and a social worker for suggestions. Both of these resources helped me.

Best wishes to you and your family.

Jody, if your siblings don't care enough to help out without being asked then I'm afraid you might be out of luck. I was in your position. I know it's hard especially if your mom was a good mom. I know I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that my mom was basically a saint and still my siblings always had something more important to do.

There's probably nothing you can do if they don't have enough of a conscience to care. I'm sorry.

I agree with BarbBrooklyn. It's wonderful that you wish to provide care for your mom yourself, but you can't just "assume" someone else into a caregiving commitment with you. It's your plan, not theirs. Please read the posts from burned-out caregivers on this forum -- it could be your future self if you don't go into this with your eyes wide open.

Jody, two thoughts.

1. The only behavior you can control is your own.

2. Neither you nor your sibs have any obligation to provide hands on care or housing for mom.

If mom needs care, get the sibs together and figure out what mom's needs and rrsources are. HER resources should pay for her care.