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Daughter1999 Asked June 2021

How do I know what stage dementia mom is in?

I asked the dr and she said probably late stage, whatever that means. Mom (fortunately) always recognizes me still, and her dog and asks about other family members (sometimes). I always thought late stage was the worse. Although mom asked me if this was a new dr office building she went to ( she’s been going there for 20 years), I’m not sure if mom recognized the dr or not. So some things mom is clearer on than others. Any idea how I would know what stage she is in, I know the dr said late stage, but does that sound right?

Grandma1954 Jun 2021
Daughter1999...About Hospice. Hospice is not, let me repeat that NOT, about the "final" stages of life or the last 6 months. As long as there is a "life limiting condition" and no treatment is being sought a person may well qualify for Hospice. My Husband was on Hospice for close to 3 years others I know had spouses on longer than that.
And if you do choose Hospice and later do not think it was the right option you can elect to go off Hospice. Or if you do not like the Hospice you chose you can leave one for another just like any other medical service.

lealonnie1 Jun 2021
https://www.dementiacarecentral.com/aboutdementia/facts/stages/

The above is a link to a chart discussing the stages of dementia & what each looks like, generally.

My mother is at the moderately advanced stage of dementia, I'd say. Normally with ALZHEIMER'S the patient forgets the family members faces and who they are; not with the other dementias. My mother knows who I am, but calls me her mother. She has trouble using the phone the tv remote, etc. She cannot walk, uses a wheelchair, but she can eat like a trucker. She drops her utensils all the time.

Dementia doesn't present itself in a straight, neat line; every day is different. Today my mother called me thinking she was calling her dead sister. Tomorrow she can be quite coherent. Today she thinks the Memory Care is a hotel; tomorrow she'll know exactly where she's at.

She can't hold onto a thought for more than a few seconds. She has trouble coming up with words, but that can also change on a dime. The holding onto a thought is consistent; she cannot remember what she called me for and can't remember to look at her Alz. clock to know what day it is.

Some days she's super angry, other days not so much. She always wants to 'go home' though, that's pretty consistent. She was diagnosed in 2016, so 5 years later, yes, she's moderately advanced, I'd say. Although what's the difference what label you put on it? Our mothers are where they should be, in Memory Care AL, being cared for properly, right?

Even though you can't see her inside of her room, you can certainly call and speak to the nurse about her medications, her behavior, and ask all the questions you would like. You have that right. Your best bet is to read up on the subject of dementia and learn all you can about it.

Best of luck!

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Daughter1999 Jun 2021
I should add mom is now in memory care (for the last 8 months) after an extended stay in the hospital . the hospital told me she should be in memory care, she has had several falls, and a few broken bones in the last year. she has copd, uses a walker (used a wheelchair to get into the drs office because of the walk) . I don’t think she can no longer use phone, tv etc . Some days she would call me by her sisters name, but hasnt done that in a while. I know she has memory problems, . I believe she needs the memory care as I’m sure it’s dementia as they say, but I’m just trying to figure this out.
MJ1929 Jun 2021
Find a memory care that can care for her until end of life, because you don't want to have to move her unless she needs skilled nursing.

Memory care is wonderful, because they really focus on mental stimulation of the residents and don't leave them to just sit alone in their rooms on their own. I believe that stimulation and socialization is very helpful for their quality of life -- it certainly has been for my mother -- because they're RESIDENTS, not PATIENTS. Their humanity is the priority, not their ailments.
Grandma1954 Jun 2021
There are lists that you can search that will give you an idea what “stage” your mom is in BUT each person is different. Each persons brain is effected differently. The ability or in ability to do something will differ. Some have personality changes some don’t, some become aggressive, others don’t.
”Late” stage could be different for each person. Final stage would be when mom stops eating, drinking and begins what is called “actively dying”. You will notice changes in skin color, breathing.
If your mom is not on Hospice contact the Hospice of your choice and get the help, education, support, equipment, supplies that you can use to help caring for her easier.
you mentioned that mom is in MC facility, she may still qualify for Hospice the advantage for you and the family is you will have another set of eyes on her monitoring her for any changes
Daughter1999 Jun 2021
I don’t believe she needs hospice at this time. Hasn’t even been suggested by mc or the dr. I guess when she said late stage I was thinking final stage as I don’t know all the terms. She is still eating and drinking and actually enjoying the food in the mc. Although she wants to go home. And from what I understand she wanders around with her walker and has friends. Unfortunately I have never been able to go in and see how she acts since she left the hospital, I’m not allowed in because of covid. I have been allowed to visit outdoors.
Sendhelp Jun 2021
You can learn more about dementia by reading reliable sources.

Every dementia patient is different, but you don't mention anger or aggressiveness.

A quick search said this about mid-stage:
"The middle stages of dementia are when anger and aggression are most likely to start occurring as symptoms, along with other worrying habits like wandering, hoarding, and compulsive behaviors that may be unusual for your loved one."

There are other conditions that mimic dementia.

I would take CWillie's advice. imo.
Daughter1999 Jun 2021
she has had some anger and aggression. Calling the police, thinking I was going to hurt her..and in the hospital she was angry and not at all herself. but now that she’s in mc she has leveled out quite a bit. She was off her baseline few weeks ago, no uti cause they checked and rechecked. Even sent her to emergency to have her checked, didn’t find anything in the tests. I know the mc was going to change her meds, not sure if they did or not but she went back to her baseline.
cwillie Jun 2021
Late stage of any type of dementia includes profound physical disability along with cognitive problems, I'd say if you are relying on this doctor for support and knowledge of dementia you aren't being well served.

https://www.dementiacarecentral.com/aboutdementia/facts/stages/#scales

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