How do you help an elder with panic attacks? She has COPD and has a hard time breathing and that makes it worse.

Do know that there are classes actually to help people with breathing and that they do help a lot. Breathing exercises work, and are even working with people who have long-haul covid breathing issues. Ask your doctor for a pulmonologist who can recommend where to attend.

My dad has COPD as well and struggles with panic attacks. He's currently in the hospital and his anxiety has been high and they've been giving him .25mg of Xanax. It makes him sleepy but can lower BP so if they have hypotension it may not be a good idea. Maybe not that medication in particular but one like it could definitely help calm them down.

You start with the appropriate doctor for treating her anxiety - if this is related to air hunger then the team treating her COPD needs to know about it. If this is something else and her regular doc is unwilling to prescribe medication to treat her anxiety perhaps you should see a gerontologist.