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kunkledude Asked June 2021

How do you get a dementia senior to a care facility?

Hopefully a quick question. Background: My wife and I care for our neighbor. He lives alone, no immediate family and his progression is worst now then ever. He checks all the boxes of moderate to late stage dementia. She is durable POA as well as guardian. (in the POA) Today my neighbor had a consult with the neurologist/geriatric doctor. He deemed him incapacited after a through exam and recommended my wife start working on getting him into skilled nursing or an assisted living facility. He became combative with the doctor (which is normal when he doesn't get his way) and told everyone where to go and that he will never return to that office. He currently lives solo with a dog and a life estate. We own his house. He has plenty of money in the bank. Doctor mentioned if you don't want to be POA anymore, just give it up and the county will appoint a guardian and handle it.


How do we move or get this gentleman to a facility? He will go kicking and screaming I am sure. After a broken shoulder 10 yrs ago he AMAed himself out of a skilled nursing home for temp. rehab. We have discussed the topic with him in the past with moderate motivation.

kunkledude Jun 2021
Thanks for your answers.
I am not positive if my wife is guardian. In one portion, It states in the durable POA: " I hereby nominate ____________to be the guardian of my estate and/or guardian of my person in the event that incapacity proceedings for my estate or person are commenced after the execution of this Durable General Power of Attorney"

It also mentions she can appoint a successor is she does not want to do it anymore. (in legal speak) It also mentions:
"Your agent may exercise the powers given here throughout your lifetime, even after you become incapacitated".

We will probably call his lawyer and get more information.
We have done a lot for him and I'm not sure how much more helping we can give with this latest news. He has distant nephews, however they are only interested in what is in the will. They made it clear in not so many words.

MammaDrama Jun 2021
If your wife is his guardian it means a court has deemed this man incompetent. Do you really mean guardian? Because if that is true she can legally place him. If he lives in a home you own you can evict him. Law enforcement could be called to physically move him to his new home.

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JoAnn29 Jun 2021
Her POA is now in effect and if a guardian appt by a court she has even more power. She can have him placed. Or as the doctor said, allow the state to take over.

MJ1929 Jun 2021
Tell him the house needs to be tented for termites and you've arranged for a place for him to stay for a week while it's being done.

I'm not kidding. The director of the memory care place my mom is in told me once, "I can't tell you how many homes we've 'tented' to get folks in here."

It'll take some maneuvering on the part of you and the place, because if he sees their sign he might get angry. They've done this kind of things millions of times, so let them lead.

Get all the ducks in a row (picking out a place, etc.) before doing it. If he's not competent, he probably shouldn't be in on the decision-making.

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