Your post brought tears to my eyes. You were a wonderful daughter to your mother and she was very blessed.
You made lots of sacrifices to make sure your mom knew she was loved and cared for and that she was appreciative of everything you did.
Not many can say they have no regrets about the care they gave their loved one, but it certainly sounds like you have none and have no reason for any. How blessed both you and your mom were.
Thank you for sharing your story and allowing us to help you grieve. Enjoy your well deserved vacation!
Praying for you as you learn to live without your precious mother. God bless you!
Maria, This is so touching what you have said about your caregiving for your mother. Since she is so much a part of your life, you will keep her close always in all you do. Go live, be strong and creative in the world. We need more of you.
Thank you. That is so sweet of you to say that. I appreciate it. I am thinking of taking a big trip (haven't in years) to the mountains and visit my cousins soon. Have a very blessed day and thank you very much again. Love, Maria in SC
I have tears in my eyes reading your response to Needhelp. Your Mom was very blessed. I am so glad you have your faith. Seems to have gotten you through all the years of caregiving you did for Mom. And because of your faith you know that Mom is now whole and pain free.
My Mom passed in 2017 and I stayed with the group hoping I can help someone else get through their Caregiving journey. Please stay and share your experiences caring for your Mom. You may help someone else.
Yes, faith has brought both her and me a long way through our journey together here on earth. I'm sorry your Mom passed, also. Yes, it sure does help to know she is no longer in painful agony and now is clear thinking again with a new spiritual body in heaven. When she as in the hospital, sometimes she would be calling for her Mom, whom she always called 'Mother'. She would be calling out "Mother" over and over. She told me that her Mother and her Sister (Sister passed 2 years ago) came to see her. It was real to her and for all I know it was real, regardless. She also told me that she saw my Daddy. I asked her to tell him hello for me and she said, "You can tell him, yourself....Isn't he TALL!???" (Daddy was 6'2" tall) She said it like she was seeing him in that moment in her hospital room with us. Thank you for your very appreciated comment to me. Take care and have a blessed day. Love, Maria in S.C.
Thank you for sharing your experience with us. It is so very obvious how much that you loved your mom. I am sorry for your loss. I am sure that you will miss her. You are grieving. Don’t hesitate to seek grief counseling if needed or participate in a group for grief support.
I wish you all the peace and joy in the world. You certainly deserve it! You sacrificed so many years of your life caring for your mom. You don’t sound bitter. You must have been exhausted most of the time.
I believe that your mom is at peace now and would certainly want you to be at peace too.
It is sad that you lost your dad at such a young age and that you took on the huge responsibility of caring for your mom. You weren’t able to have a normal childhood. I am so very sorry that your siblings didn’t help you. It’s tough to be the primary caregiver for someone.
My mom also had Parkinson’s disease and died recently in a hospice house. It’s very painful to watch a parent decline with this condition.
Make the most of your life now. Take care of yourself. You have paid your dues!
May the Lord bless you for your encouragement to me this morning. I had tears in my eyes as I read your comforting words to me...words I have greatly needed to hear. Thank you so much. I am sorry that your Mama also had Parkinson's disease and died recently in a hospice house. Mama was given the choice of going to a hospice house or back to the nursing home where she's lived for the past 12 years and even though she knew it would only be window visits again for us, she chose the nursing home because the people there were familiar to her, she said was the reason. So I was not with her when she passed that morning 4 days after returning to the nursing home from spending 10 days in the hospital and I was told outside on the front porch where she and I used to spend time together at the NH, that she'd passed a few minutes before I arrived with her bag of food on Sunday morning 3 weeks ago. Miraculously, they allowed me to spend time with her in her room after she passed (no roommate), after doing temp check (and I always wear a mask), although it was strictly forbidden for the past 15 months during this pandemic, when she was still alive here on earth, thus the window visits during all that time. But still, I am thankful, having been blessed by our Lord to spend 10 days with her in the hospital, even though she was suffering greatly and I spoon fed her what little she was able to take in and I went to the hospital gift shop and bought her a new shirt and bought her and myself identical beautiful necklaces and that made her very happy and put a smile on her face, and I put the necklace on her and it was still on her when I saw her in her room at the NH after she'd just passed. I requested to the funeral home director that the necklace not be removed from her and that she be buried with it on, so at her funeral, she and I both had on our identical necklaces, which she was buried with hers on. I don't know why I'm telling you all of this but thank you so much for your kindness and time. I hope you have a very blessed day. Love, Maria in South Carolina
Thank you for your condolences. I was my Mama's caregiver for many years going back to my childhood after my Daddy got killed in a car wreck and very depressed Mama took to her bed and I waited on her for years and did all I knew to do beginning at age 9. I have 2 younger siblings who have never helped with Mama's caregiving needs. Mama would rally from her severe depression from time to time and get a sewing factory job and work a short while until she had another nervous breakdown. She sought counseling and was put on medicines for depression and anxiety, which she quickly got addicted to and would take them in 2 weeks and crash 2 weeks each month. After we 3 kids were grown, Mama met someone and was married a second time but it ended in divorce. Her second husband was her caregiver for 14 years, as she continued battling severe depression along with other health problems. When he left, I became her caregiver again. She lived in an apartment and I was able to go back and forth to her for years as we only lived 4 miles apart. Sometimes she would call me to come, telling me it was an emergency, 3 times a day, and I would go see about her. I had jobs, mostly secretarial, but could not manage to keep them with the stress I was under mentally and physically from taking care of her as well as other problems I was going through at the time and so my jobs were off and on and barely enough for me to earn the credits to get my social security check I have now. I continued to care for her at her apartment as well as taking care of my home and other members of our family at the same time for many years. I always loved my Mama very, very much. Her other 2 children led their own lives, knowing that I was taking care of our Mama. Yes, I asked for their help and no, none was given. Finally, after Mama had lived with me a while, she agreed to enter the nursing home at her doctor's repeated recommendation. I visited her most days, and sat with her and tended her whatever needs she had. She developed Parkinson's Psychosis Dementia 12 years ago (possibly a little earlier). It was very difficult to see her depressed mental state decline even further into hallucinations and delusions with the dementia. I did all I knew to do to help her be happy. I would bring her home with me for visits and wheel her into the house and I'd take her shopping even though I had to find someone (a stranger sometimes) to assist me with her wheelchair, putting it back into the car. I made sure that when I bought myself new clothes, I bought her the same as we both liked the same styles, so we had lots of identical-looking clothes we wore. I spent time with her in the nursing home, washing her hair and curling it, and I made sure she kept supplied in her favorite items of makeup, personal care products, pretty pocketbooks, a nice fan for her room, stuffed animals she loved, and art supplies (she did beautiful folk art pictures that are hung all over my house that she gave to me). I took her favorite foods each day I visited her (which was almost every day for years) and I would encourage her to let me get her out of her bed (she was bedridden for the past few years) and wheel her outside for fresh air on the front porch and we'd talk or mostly I would listen as she would tell me the latest that was going on in the room next to her room (in her mind, cause she could hear 'them' over there and what they were saying and doing, etc.). I learned to play along with her and let her know that I 'believed' what she would tell me. With the pandemic, I could only visit her at her window, so no hugs, for 15 months, which I went almost daily and she and I would sing songs to each other over the phone at the window. A few weeks ago, she was admitted to the hospital where she and I had 10 days together to hug each other and tell each other we loved each other, and talk before she was discharged back to NH, where she went to heaven 4 days later on June 6th.
Your mama is now rejoicing with the angels, and has no more sickness or disease. What a blessing for her, but now you have to learn how to do this life without her. It won't be easy, but over time you will adjust. There is a support group for those grieving the loss of a loved one, called Grief Share. You can "Google" to see where one is in your community. A lot of their meetings are still on Zoom right now, because of Covid, but they can be very helpful. You can also share and ask us questions on this forum, as many of us have already lost the loved ones we were caring for as well. I pray that God will give you His peace and comfort in the days and weeks ahead.
Thank you. I did look this up but there are no meetings anywhere near the area I am in. Yes, it is quite an adjustment but I know the Lord is helping me. No, it surely is not easy at all. Smile. I hope you have a blessed day. Thank you for your comment to me. Love, Maria in SC
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Your post brought tears to my eyes. You were a wonderful daughter to your mother and she was very blessed.
You made lots of sacrifices to make sure your mom knew she was loved and cared for and that she was appreciative of everything you did.
Not many can say they have no regrets about the care they gave their loved one, but it certainly sounds like you have none and have no reason for any. How blessed both you and your mom were.
Thank you for sharing your story and allowing us to help you grieve. Enjoy your well deserved vacation!
Praying for you as you learn to live without your precious mother. God bless you!
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My Mom passed in 2017 and I stayed with the group hoping I can help someone else get through their Caregiving journey. Please stay and share your experiences caring for your Mom. You may help someone else.
Thank you for your very appreciated comment to me. Take care and have a blessed day. Love, Maria in S.C.
Thank you for sharing your experience with us. It is so very obvious how much that you loved your mom. I am sorry for your loss. I am sure that you will miss her. You are grieving. Don’t hesitate to seek grief counseling if needed or participate in a group for grief support.
I wish you all the peace and joy in the world. You certainly deserve it! You sacrificed so many years of your life caring for your mom. You don’t sound bitter. You must have been exhausted most of the time.
I believe that your mom is at peace now and would certainly want you to be at peace too.
It is sad that you lost your dad at such a young age and that you took on the huge responsibility of caring for your mom. You weren’t able to have a normal childhood. I am so very sorry that your siblings didn’t help you. It’s tough to be the primary caregiver for someone.
My mom also had Parkinson’s disease and died recently in a hospice house. It’s very painful to watch a parent decline with this condition.
Make the most of your life now. Take care of yourself. You have paid your dues!
There is a support group for those grieving the loss of a loved one, called Grief Share. You can "Google" to see where one is in your community. A lot of their meetings are still on Zoom right now, because of Covid, but they can be very helpful.
You can also share and ask us questions on this forum, as many of us have already lost the loved ones we were caring for as well.
I pray that God will give you His peace and comfort in the days and weeks ahead.
There are a lot of compassionate people here who can reach out to help you. Please feel free to share your concerns.
So sorry for your loss. Please share whatever you would like to.
You have just started your own thread, so just tell us your story here.
And welcome.