Trying to figure out what is going on with changes in my mother in law. Thoughts?
1. Has made comments wishing she had gone before the pandemic 2. has done an about face regarding her finances. Checks lying around not deposited, bills left unpaid
Could be a UTI (which in elderly women is an extremely common and repeat problem and often has no other symptoms than personality and behavior changes, confusion, delusions) OR could be age-related decline as in dementia and memory impairment. In this case there is no cure or hope that it will improve in any way.
If she has a PoA assigned, this person now needs to check the verbiage on that document to see if their authority is springing or durable. If durable, then a medical "proof" of incapacity is usually not needed for the PoA powers to become active. If springing, then 1 or sometimes 2 diagnosis may be required before authority is activated.
The PoA needs to now assume she cannot be left to her own devices (no matter what MIL says or wants). The PoA of adult child (or you) now needs to get her to her primary doctor (go with her now to every appointment) to get this exam and check for a UTI. Starting here is the beginning of permanent help for her, as she won't improve or recover to her prior self. The financial PoA now needs to take over her bookkeeping and manage financial affairs and the medical PoA needs to do the same regarding her daily physical needs and protections. Do not assume she remembers anything accurately, no matter how confidently she answers. Ask her very specific questions like, "What day is it today?" "What did you eat for dinner last night?" (and then check to see if she's actually eating or overeating). And if she drives, please remove the car completely and tell her it is in the shop for repairs. Do not allow her to drive in this condition. There is much more to know and do but starting here will get the important balls rolling.
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If she has a PoA assigned, this person now needs to check the verbiage on that document to see if their authority is springing or durable. If durable, then a medical "proof" of incapacity is usually not needed for the PoA powers to become active. If springing, then 1 or sometimes 2 diagnosis may be required before authority is activated.
The PoA needs to now assume she cannot be left to her own devices (no matter what MIL says or wants). The PoA of adult child (or you) now needs to get her to her primary doctor (go with her now to every appointment) to get this exam and check for a UTI. Starting here is the beginning of permanent help for her, as she won't improve or recover to her prior self. The financial PoA now needs to take over her bookkeeping and manage financial affairs and the medical PoA needs to do the same regarding her daily physical needs and protections. Do not assume she remembers anything accurately, no matter how confidently she answers. Ask her very specific questions like, "What day is it today?" "What did you eat for dinner last night?" (and then check to see if she's actually eating or overeating). And if she drives, please remove the car completely and tell her it is in the shop for repairs. Do not allow her to drive in this condition. There is much more to know and do but starting here will get the important balls rolling.
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