What is expected in terms of severance pay for those who have cared my mother who has now passed?

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miniMatriarch Asked July 2021

What is expected in terms of severance pay for those who have cared my mother who has now passed?

I have paid for private in home care for my mother. When we started it was for a few hours a day but gradually increased to so that my mother had nearly full-time care in her apartment. We paid $19/hour. My mother passed and suddenly the women are without a job. What is appropriate payment?

Thank you.

End of Life Home Care Paying for Care

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score 16 · Answer 1

My Mother had her caregiver for 5 years. She was paid $25 per hour. Every Christmas I gave her a $5,000 bonus. When my Mother moved to Memory Care, I gave the caregiver $5,000 bonus and told her she could take whatever she wanted from my Mother's apartment. She took sheets, towels, leftover food, cooking supplies and other ordinary essentials. I gave her the most flattering recommendation letter. To this day, 3 years later, this wonderful caregiver still goes to visit my Mother in Memory Care facility. Take good care of the person who cared for your loved one. They will repay you with kindness and compassion many times over !!!

Helpful Answer (16)

LonelyOnlyChild,

I wish I worked for you and your mother. You sound like a wonderful family who really appreciates good help.

(2)

score 10 · Answer 2

I think it's absolutely terrific that you want to do something for your mother's caregivers who are now finding themselves out of a job.
It is very rare to come across an employer like you who thinks so highly of the help. I should know because I was in homecare almost 25 years. In all that time I never had client families offer anything other than a handshake and a 'thank-you'.
I'd say whatever you want to give them and whatever you can afford will be appropriate.

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score 10 · Answer 3

Wonderful that you are treating these caregivers with respect as workers. I would suggest 2 weeks salary - it should tide them over until they secure their next positions.

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score 9 · Answer 4

We gave my dad’s helper a check for approximately 3 months pay. She was part time, privately hired, and a real godsend to us. Do what strikes a balance of appreciation and what’s affordable, and a card expressing your thanks would be kind

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score 6 · Answer 5

Thank you for very helpful guidelines. I had planned to provide something when the time came but had not thought it through. I was a bit taken aback when one caregiver asked if she was getting severance pay the day my mother died. I fumbled and said we will talk. She had previously made clear she'd like my mother's bed, and she had taken bags of clothing. I know these are not the same as a paycheck, and I think because her timing was jarring, I am not seeing clearly! I've read and used this forum's advice for awhile, but this is first posting. Thank you!

Helpful Answer (6)

I think the caregiver had a real nerve asking for things the day your dear mom died. I am with JoAnn on that one. I would say NO!

(2)

score 5 · Answer 6

I had a woman help with my mom for all of two weeks, but I paid her for an extra week when I let her go.

The best thing you can do beyond giving some extra pay is to put it out there to everyone you know (NextDoor app, for instance) that someone you recommend highly is now available.

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score 5 · Answer 7

If you paid them over the table, they pay taxes and should file for unemployment.

If you paid them under the table, you can decide on what is appropriate for the care they gave, if their attitude supports such generosity, and your finances.

Unless the caregiver took your mother's clothing with her permission and before she died, the clothing belongs to the estate and the caregiver may be guilty of theft. In business, one fires - for cause - employees who steal.

I would evaluate each caregiver independently and offer/deny a bonus accordingly.

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score 4 · Answer 8

That aide that asked, I would give her nothing. What nerve! Please don't promise anything while you are dealing with Mom.

You paid a good wage. These aides know their jobs are not permanent. I would consider how long each one has been with Mom. Personally, I have never gotten more than a months pay in severance. The less was 2 weeks. Just enough till my unemployment started. Which if you didn't take out taxes for, they can't get.

So, it depends on how they did their jobs. How long they were with Mom. The one that asked would get the least. I bet she wasn't u best worker. If no one in the family wants the bed, tell her she can have it and that will be her severance. I will bet you find something missing when you have time to clean out.

I think no more than a month. Two weeks at least.

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score 4 · Answer 9

I would not give the crude worker a penny beyond what they earned.

To ask you about her pay at one of the hardest times in your life says it all. She didn't, doesn't and never will care about her patients, this is about her earning a living. That is fine, it just removes any obligation for you to care about her. She was just there for the paycheck and that should be all she gets.

There is such a shortage of workers that anyone really wanting employment will be able to find a job immediately. No need to give her a paid vacation.

I am so sorry for your loss and I am sorry that you have to deal with this person and their greedy, grubbing personality at this difficult time.

Helpful Answer (4)

Isthisrealyreal,

Do you take a paid vacation from your job? Or do you tell your employer there's no need because you already get paid for doing your work?
What you see as a greedy and money-grubbing personality is very likely a person who's just trying to get by and make a living in a line of work that is very hard to make a living in.
Sometimes a person has to ask about their pay. This is how homecare works because most of the time the caregiver and what they're owed or been promised gets forgotten about. No caregiver ever intends to make some family feel bad. Especially when they're going through a hard time, but we all have to eat and pay bills just like everyone else. I can't tell you how many wonderful, generous families I've worked for over the years that I had to chase down to get what I was owed. It's not personal. It's business. No caregiver should have to chase family members down for their money or ask after it during a hard time. It should just be paid without question.
I'm pretty sure that if you were owed wages or some benefit from your employer, you'd get after it too.
Caregivers aren't supposed to do the same?

(3)

score 4 · Answer 10

I don't think you have to give them anything.

They were paid to perform a Service and Service is no longer needed and they will work elsewhere

Helpful Answer (4)

What is expected in terms of severance pay for those who have cared my mother who has now passed?

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