Mom's frustration and aggression. Can anyone suggest what I do if this continues and she and I can’t take anymore?

I’ve had her to her family dr and he has her taking Memantine but so far things aren’t any better and quite possibly worse. I have a call onto the dr so hopefully I will get a call back. Thank you.

My 99-yr old aunt does the same thing every afternoon. We even have a sign directly across from her chair that says, "Nancy, you ARE home: (with address listed)". It doesn't convince her so then the next time she insists on going home I respond, "OK, but first will you please go get the mail with me?" and she always agrees to this. She uses a walker so it's slow going to the mailbox, but once there she sees her name on the mail. Then I ask her what her address is and she recites her current address. I point out it's the same as on the mailbox. Then I ask her what color her front door is (bright yellow). I have her turn and look at the door. I ask her if the house number is the same as hers. She tries to make sense of it in her head, but because her brain is broken the lightbulb never fully comes on, however at this point she's not as agitated. Then I'd ask her to do a task for me and this often (but not always) got us to dinner time without too much drama. Works for now. May not work next month or week.

What do you do now? I’m sure you have learned that telling her she is home is pointless, right?

She KNOWS she is not home as clearly as you KNOW she is. You are on two separate frequencies. Rather than try to convince her, distract her. First agree so she is validated and then distract.
“I can’t wait to go home mom, as soon as they finish the flooring, we will head out. Let’s see if your program is on”.
“When the road is repaired or when the rain stops, we will leave early in the morning. Can you help me fold these towels?”
Or whatever you can think of that she enjoys or sounds plausible to her at this stage. You will be helping her pass this sticking point today. It will probably still recur for a few weeks more but instead of aggression you might only have to deal with disappointment or pouting which will be better than aggression. Don’t focus on making her understand (her brain is broken) focus on relieving her anxiety. Do what works. If your first attempt doesn’t work, just wait a minute and you can try another.

Look at Teepa Snow videos On YouTube. She is great at giving us tips to make life easier.

An eval for appropriate medication by a medical specialist trained in geriatric management.