Nothing is perfect, agreed. But could we strive to come closer? What's acceptable?

Thanks so much Sunny. Back is feeling better and I got much comfort talking to a friend earlier who had the same kind of fall a month ago.

LOL...that's putting it in perspective...Muddy pawprints, I would tolerate! Fro canines are the best! It's the people I have problems with! I now realize why there is such a selection of door mats that say Wipe your Feet or wipe your paws because so many are so clueless!...Those super absorbent doormats are not very pretty but for the functional aspect, clearly a good idea...Also getting a basket for the laundry that may be how these aides were raised, might be of benefit, thanks for the pointer. I shouldn't HAVE to, but it will save me the grief and frustration so I can put it in the hallway, and engage the lock on the laundry room door. I must admit that since the pillowcase went missing, I am concerned that my clothes I have stored in there may be attractive enough to be taken as well. I have not made any accusations. But the pillowcase has yet to turn up either. BTW, yes, we were provided with a hospital table on wheels and they can and sometimes DO actually put the basin on that, but not always. I have put a towel on the desk (HINT HINT HINT!) which they typically now use if using the desk....Ice packs have been a big help with the back thanks, and I drove for the first time since it happened, yesterday. I also think the frozen hot chocolate a bakery cafe delivered after it was not brought in myoriginal order helped:-)

IN my real job I DO SUPERVISE AIDES of a sort, they do housekeeping only and for the 30 years I have done my job well, I have been sensitive to and respectful of these people, and so I strive to be with the hospice aides. So I DO NOT FEEL it is my job and is indeed the job of the Nurse who IS their supervisor to do that. I am not being paid to do that, but totally agree with my speaking out, in fact to both the darn aides and to their supervisory nurse. I have enough on my plate, but see my job also as you pointed out as an advocate for my mother. I wonder about printing in a large font basic rules for them and any aides to come or sub. I am not used to dealing with this stuff, nor is anyone and I think hospice holds some responsibility for not making clear what the process is if there IS an issue. No one is typically used to this role. ANd no one cares that YOU have never heard of aides coming every day. NOW you have. My mother is incontinent and difficult, and so it is essential for the aides help on a daily basis. ANd you have no idea if these particular aides will mind or not. Frankly, I don't care if they DO mind. If I wasn't also trying to work remotely and recuperating from the fall, I would be investigating other hospice program options now wiser to it all, or asking for a change of aides. I am also further agitated after today when the weekend aide who comes alone called before 8:30 to announce she would be here between 10 and 10:30. Dad kept shutting the front door which I opened for her ease on arrival, and ultimately said "She was already here". Which explained why I thought I was losing my mind on going in the laundry room and finding wet washcloths and towels and knowing I had put the last load in the dryer last night before I went to bed. On top of it, the day prior the two aide team had yet again, in spite of my note saying to put soiled laundry ON THE FLOOR IN FRONT OF THE WASHER, put it on a net cushion filled with an old mattress pad for my pup, potentially making it unnecessarily stink of urine. I have since posted a note on the cushion to make THAT CLEAR. Back to today/yesterday, this aide who came earlier than she claimed (I get it, but then why bother calling in the first place?) left an empty sack form briefs or pads filled with soiled disposables, open sitting in the open. GOd forbid my father would have disposed of it himself, he had ME to ask, but the aide could have easily asked for a grocery bag to put it in, knot and dispose of. I will be addressing that with her later I'm sure. There just seems to be a general lack of common sense and respect for others and their homes. Do I need to put a sign with a downward arrow toward the door mat that says"This is a doormat" Please use it to wipe your shoes before entering. We do not have a maid service and someone to clean up behind you. We are struggling enough to take care of our loved ones. We need help, not more work generated. Thank you for your cooperation.

I love you gram. Thanks. That's the response I needed to hear. It's still all a bit new to me. My own organization makes clear to people who to contact and what to do if an issue, and I have negotiated many more than I wish over the years, but we have done so with kindness, respect, grace, and tact...or at least that is always the goal. I know well every person we care for however little or much, and none of what we do is hands on btw, makes a difference. Every person just wants to be treated with those traits you mention. BTW, Originally I met with a social worker who seemed to rub me the wrong way and a nurse who rotates with another involving mom's care. The social worker changed without my having said a word to anyone and when I asked there was no real explanation...I've got my work cut out for me. And btw, had one of those I supervise gone to a home where the primary caregiver had a fall/accident and couldn't give her help to the usual degree it is a circumstance where my staff would have notified me and any other relevant staff who would have followed up to see if there was anything more we could do to help.