Why do I not have home nursing assistance for my Mom and she's taking too many laxatives?

Issue #1 "Why do I not have home nursing assistance for my Mom?"

Sorry to answer a question with questions.. but

Q1 Does she need *nursing* assistance? Is there medical treatments she needs?

Q2 what sort of care are you wanting? Personal care eg bathing assistance? Social company? Someone to take over the responsibility of her care?

Extra help probably won't fall from the sky.

Issue #2 "Dominate like a b****"
Well if I was backed up & my son did the shopping, I'd be asking for laxatives too. Unless Mother is housebound, I'd take her to see her local pharmacist herself & discuss her issue. She can buy what's required & you can think no more about it. Reasonable?

Strong, wise and functional people put up boundaries to keep the bullies from marauding over them. A good therapist can provide an objective perspective on your relationship with her and teach you the where and how of boundaries for your mom. Continuing as is is dysfunctional and very destructive for you. Perhaps you have a codependent relationship, which often happens gradually to people so they don't even see it. I wish you much clarity and peace in your heart as you seek a healthier life for yourself.

I don’t think that you should be caring for her anymore. You are miserable. She is driving you crazy. Look for a suitable facility to place her in.

Best wishes to you.

You wrote this last month: "I have a half Sister that lives in Lotus, Ca and works in Sacramento. I'm waiting for her to move back here so she can handle and take over being a Caregiver for our Mom who is a bear."

Do you really think this will happen?

Why are you allowing a ''sociopath'' to live with you?

Sorry your mom is a sociopath. I'd want to run away, Far, far away.

Why do you think there should be a home nursing assistant? You can hire one, with mom's money?

It's a good combo to be a nice guy but not a pushover.

Assuming if she's taking too many laxatives, she's having bathroom troubles. So what if she gets condescending? Sounds like your burnt out and annoyed with her antics anyhow. So learn how to tune her out and set boundaries and tell her what's what instead of the other way around.

Good luck.

Maybe time to place her. You are 54 and should be enjoying this time of your life. If Mom has been this way all your life, time for a break.

I hope you have POA. If so, find her a nice AL if she can afford it. If not, a nice LTC facility with Medicaid paying for her care. Then all you need do is visit when and if u want.

Does she need a laxative?
If she does not need one then replace a laxative with another "pill" it could be a TicTac, a Skittle, or say you have switched to one like a piece of chocolate.
Use moms assets to hire a caregiver that will come in a few days a week.
You could begin thinking about Memory Care if you do not feel that you can continue caring for her at home. Caring for her will get m ore difficult as she declines, it will not get easier.
If she qualifies for Hospice you would have a Nurse that would see her 1 time a week and the nurse would order necessary medications. A CNA would come in a few times a week and bathe, dress and change sheets as well as order supplies that you need. Hospice is covered by Medicare. With Hospice you could also request a Volunteer that could come and sit with mom or do a few things around the house if needed.
If mom was in the service she may qualify for help through the VA.