How do you deal with OCD rage and mood swings?

Is Dad on Hospice? Maybe ask the Nurse if there anything he can be given for anxiety. That is more like what is happening than OCD. If not on Hospice, call his doctor.

We have a station here that has shows from the 50s, 60s and 70s. Thats what I would put on for Mom. The only thing, they showed "Emergency". So when there was a fire or an explosion Mom thought it was in our house. Telling her it was the TV did settle her down but not sure how much longer that would have lasted. She went into an AL and pretty much stayed in the common area. So no TV.

We have stopped watching the news, or any program that has people in stressful, dangerous occupations or situations. DH used to watch NCIS. Bones, Chicago MEd, Fire,sw and Order, etc. About 30 minute after watching one of these shows, he would work himself into such a frazzled state of mind that he couldn't sleep or eat. He would insist that the robber, mugger, kidnapper, etc was in the house, attempting to enter the house, had been in the house and was now gone and we needed to call the police, the fire department and/ or an ambulance.
There is no way to get him to realize it was tv and did not really happen. For the past 2 days, he has insisted that he watched a man die in our driveway.He even has tried to get his caregiver to convince me it happened. My only advice is to try to keep him from seeing, hearing or reading anything that isn't comedy or old movies. If my DH gets really out of his head, our dr. prescribed Lorazepam 0.5 mg. every 8 hrs
That does help mellow him out.

Hi Leah, As another "only" here I know the "enmeshed" relationships we can have with our parents. When my dad began focusing on the possible catastrophic outcomes of situations, I kind of stopped telling him about little problems so that he wouldn't turn them into bigger problems. It's tough to "lie" to them, but you have to for his and your sanity. If you don't do this, you will just literally go insane.

Classical music helped a lot. Try it, suddenly it helps you

As a kindness to him AND TO YOURSELF, please feel comfortable limiting conversation with him to things that will help him be peaceful and comfortable, and continue to omit those parts of conversation that might cause him distress.

It is sometimes very uncomfortable for some of us to feel that we shouldn’t EVER LIE to those whom we love, but it is certainly a FAR greater kindness to “edit” and “shape” what we discuss, if the “facts” are overwhelming, as they usually are for sufferers of pancreatic cancer.

Skip as much of the “guilt” as you can. It doesn’t help you feel better or act better on his behalf, and makes you more vulnerable to his difficult outbursts.

Get in as much help as HE can afford, and when there is any option to do so, GET AWAY, for as long or as little as you can.

Remember that his paranoid reactions are exacerbated by his pain and depression, and are rarely IF EVER, rational or accurate.

Good, safe caregiving needs balance, and if balance is not offered TO you by one of the partners, the OTHER MUST TAKE IT, for their own welfare and comfort.

Be at peace with the choices you make, and be safe and well.