Barry has mental health problems lives in a care home. He’s on medication but once he goes into a state of anxiety he end up in hospital. At the moment he seems to be obsessed about honey delivery and worrying about a lot of things. He what’s apps me 4/6 times a day , will call in middle of the night. I turn my mobile off bedtime. I wonder do I make him worse by answering his messages (am I pampering him). I do tell the home and they say he’s fine. They say I worry but there is only me and when he ends up in hospital whatever home he’s in don’t take him back.
The physiatrist he is under is new to Barry I have never met this person. Since lockdown it has all changed. Just really want to know what to do for the best. I don’t want to make him worse. I would pay to talk to someone but don’t know where to go for the best .
thank you
carol
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gladimhere is right. Work with the doctor and the facility. Don't stop talking to your brother though. When the delusional nonsense about things like a honey delivery start up, refuse to discuss it. Let him know that everything is fine and change the subject or end the call if you have to.
I've always taken this approach over the years when working for clients in homecare. Some were mentally ill, some were elderly with dementia. My response was the same. Don't indulge the delusional behavior by giving it validation.
Are you enabling him by answering his calls? I don't know there is not enough information in you post to come to a possible solution.
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He is being cared for and you are worried more than necessary about him, at a sacrifice to your own peace and comfort. Do what makes YOU COMFORTABLE.
If that means less contact with your brother, assure his care management staff that you want to be notified BY THEM if he needs something, and shift your focus more to yourself. Better for BOTH of you.