Of course a sibling (adult child) should be compensated for becoming caregiver to a parent. You should not have quit your job to do it. That's a mistake that too many people make. What ends up happening in family caregiving situations is they go on for longer than expected. Or the caregiver has to be there for longer than they agreed to. Then they can't find a job when the caregiving is no longer needed. This is why getting paid for what you're doing is so important. So many of us family caregivers catch a lot of criticism from others for insisting we get paid. That we're supposed to become enslaved to our parents care needs 24/7 often, usually suffering some type of abuse from them with it. Not only are we expected to be happy to have this burden on us, but we're supposed to do it for free. If anyone gives you a hard time about getting payment tell the exactly what I tell every a$$hole who's ever had something to say to me about it.
If a married couple with a kid or kids gets divorced, or a baby-daddy/baby-mother has a kid or kids with multiple people, someone has to take care of those kids and give them a home. The parent not providing the care and home for them has to pay child support to the one who is. If the other refuses to pay it goes to court and they go to jail. Why should it be any different when an adult child has to be the caregiver and takes the responsibility for the health and safety of a parent who like a child cannot take care of or be responsible for themselves? I see no distinction between the two, except it's a lot harder to be a parent to a parent than it is to be one to your child.
Yes - I moved mom in with me and it’s been over 2.5 years (covid sort of got in the way of more rehabilitation to find where her landing spot will be and be best for her) - I was so busy that I had zero time to sell homes or meet with anyone - I had to focus on care and recovery. I am finally meeting with an elder law to draw up an agreement and figure it all out. I’m not sure if your asking for yourself or another family member but whomever cares for mom should be compensated.
YES! Get a caregiver agreement in place. You should consult with an elder law attorney. Sis will become mom's employee. Don't scoff at what the amount may be. Keep in mind that facility long going could easily cost in excess of 6 K a month if her needs are low.
I would think long and hard before giving up your job to care for your mom. Your profile says that she has Parkinson's and dementia, along with many other health issues. That is a lot, and she will only continue to get worse, and perhaps end up having to be placed in a facility anyway. Where will that leave you, but without a job? People often have grand ideas that they'll be able to care for their loved one, but once they get into the day in and day out of it all, they realize that they have bitten off way more than they can chew. I hope you know what you're getting into. Your mom realistically probably needs to placed in the appropriate facility. You can see an elder attorney and have them draw up a contract so that you can be compensated by your mom, but you'll of course have to file taxes on any income, and you'll have to keep accurate records in case mom ever needs to apply for Medicaid.
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You should not have quit your job to do it. That's a mistake that too many people make. What ends up happening in family caregiving situations is they go on for longer than expected. Or the caregiver has to be there for longer than they agreed to. Then they can't find a job when the caregiving is no longer needed. This is why getting paid for what you're doing is so important.
So many of us family caregivers catch a lot of criticism from others for insisting we get paid. That we're supposed to become enslaved to our parents care needs 24/7 often, usually suffering some type of abuse from them with it. Not only are we expected to be happy to have this burden on us, but we're supposed to do it for free.
If anyone gives you a hard time about getting payment tell the exactly what I tell every a$$hole who's ever had something to say to me about it.
If a married couple with a kid or kids gets divorced, or a baby-daddy/baby-mother has a kid or kids with multiple people, someone has to take care of those kids and give them a home.
The parent not providing the care and home for them has to pay child support to the one who is. If the other refuses to pay it goes to court and they go to jail.
Why should it be any different when an adult child has to be the caregiver and takes the responsibility for the health and safety of a parent who like a child cannot take care of or be responsible for themselves? I see no distinction between the two, except it's a lot harder to be a parent to a parent than it is to be one to your child.
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I agree that with all Moms health problems she should be placed in a nice LTC facility. An AL will not be able to care for.
People often have grand ideas that they'll be able to care for their loved one, but once they get into the day in and day out of it all, they realize that they have bitten off way more than they can chew. I hope you know what you're getting into.
Your mom realistically probably needs to placed in the appropriate facility.
You can see an elder attorney and have them draw up a contract so that you can be compensated by your mom, but you'll of course have to file taxes on any income, and you'll have to keep accurate records in case mom ever needs to apply for Medicaid.