I’m trying to help a friend who has Vascular Dementia, and confined to a manual wheelchair. He lives 250 miles away from me, and two months ago was found “lost” 2 miles from his apartment at 3am sitting in his wheelchair in a stranger’s front yard. He did not know where he was or lived or even who he was. He has regained some of his memory, and knows who he is. After two months in rehab, he is anxious to go back home. He has no one to look out for him except me. I am not able to make constant trips to check on him. His right side is paralyzed but he gets around quite well with the wheelchair. Once at home he will have a caregiver check on him each day, but I’m worried that he could just walk & roll some night and get lost again, or be seriously injured. Also, I don’t have smart phone, just a flip phone and a landline. I would like to be able to see where he is on my computer. Is that something that is possible to have set up? Thank you for your help.
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I’m sure that you can find a tracking device, and probably one that can be monitored from your computer. However as you are not tech savvy it may be all too hard for you to choose, install and monitor. Magic tech solutions often require a magician in charge!
You can probably get a monitor on his wheelchair, but first of all don't know how that will happen without a smartphone. And, to be frank, it will be a lot of effort for a very temporary fix -- like peeing into a forest fire. Your energies would be better spent setting him up to be protected and represented, like having him figure out who can be his durable PoA and starting to look at what is possible for his future.
Many elders have spent a lifetime romanticizing "aging in place" in their homes. But in most cases it becomes extremely unsafe (and therefore unethical) to keep them in that arrangement when other solutions are available (imperfect, but available). He is already showing signs of cognitive/memory impairment (like his recent "lost" episode). This is only the beginning of stress-inducing occurrences. Even if you have the ability to track him (and you will need an alarm system to alert you to late night wandering) then what can you do from 250 miles away? The PD or FD may take him to the ER if he seems disoriented and then from there, if he doesn't "recover" enough he will probably be passed on to the hospital social workers who will arrange for rehab or pursue guardianship and permanently relocate him into a facility that they choose. They won't call you if he doesn't remember you or your phone number. Because this is what happens when one doesn't create a realistic plan in advance.
If he could be convinced to transition himself to an IL community that has a spectrum of care options on campus (AL, LTC, MC) then he'd be surrounded by people, have 3 meals a day, medical care, transportation options, clubs and events, and so on. Your most valuable contribution to helping him would be to get him to assign a PoA (and not you if you're not local and at least 20 years his junior), and research local care communities that he would choose for himself. Then help him make that transition. Wishing you success in speaking to your friend about what's best for his future care.
Should he wander again, I would like to be able to notify the police or fire dept. so they can pick him up and get him to safety. And I should be able to do this from 250 miles away. The Social Workers, hospital and rehab staff and his apartment manager are all working with me so we can do what is best for him. I want him to have a say while he still can. We are all staying positive, as is he. He knows that he will need to move from his apartment and to assisted living/memory care. He trusts me as his POA, and to do what is right. He would not be comfortable if some stranger began advising him. Everything takes time to get set up, and so far it is all falling into place without any negative upsets. I was just hoping that I could help to keep him safe until he is able to be placed.
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TNtechie is a whiz in technical adaptations. I'm P'M'ing her to see if she'll be able to offer advice.
But if they do, check with his local Police Department and see if they provide GPS monitors free of charge. If so, they can monitor him and maybe give you access too.