Have I waited too long to become POA?

A trust and estate attorney worth his salt will make a house call. When my dad was given a terminal diagnosis and my mother was unable to be taken to the attorney's office, their attorney came to the house to do the paperwork for them to resign from their trust and allow me to take over their affairs.

Find another attorney.

I echo MJ1929's advice.   One of the estate planning attorneys for which I worked met with a client who was in a terminal state; she went to the client's house, came back to the office.  We rapidly prepared the estate planning documents and she took them to the client the following day.  The client died shortly after the attorney left.

Another example:  when my sister was in respiratory failure, I contacted another attorney for whom I had worked, and who I respected and trusted a great deal.  She came to the hospital, had the dox prepared and came back either the next or following day.

Good attorneys will make house calls in dire situations. 

CJLC,  this could have been done earlier, but we never knew when things will happen to spur action.  Dementia can be sneaky.    I think the larger issue is not whether someone will come to the house, but whether your parents are cognizant enough to understand what they might be executing.

Geaton's first paragraph addresses this issue and identifies a defining line of being qualified or not to execute documents.  This would be your first step, if you have access to medical records or can call your parents' physicians (I went with my father to all of his appointments and medical staff knew me.  I honestly don't even recall if I provided conformed copies of authorizations).

Start with your parents' doctors to determine if diagnoses have been made.

Simple answer - Yes you have waited too long - someone with dementia cannot make a POA.
So you will have to go for guardianship. Speak to an Elder Lawyer about putting this process in action.
Good luck, it is always so hard when people will not talk about things when they can and then become incapable and the job gets harder.

doctors can give you a letter that they can no longer handle their affairs. You go to court and file for court appointed power of attorney or guardianship. Guardianship is a lil more intense as court will want quarterly statements on how their money is spent but you need to prepare monthly.

Don't panic. Most elder law attorneys give free consultations. Find a well regarded elder law attorney who will listen to you and find alternate ways to service you. My Mother's attorney used Zoom. Perhaps the bank will do the same as a courtesy?
Obviously there is a bigger picture with your sister, and she can't be relied upon at all. Can you visit your parents to get a clear assessment of all their needs? Once you are there you can easily install wifi cameras so you can monitor your parents from your cell phone. It seems that neither is competent and in dire need of home care, begin taking steps to set this up ASAP. Finding home care you feel comfortable with will relieve some of the pressure on you. Just take one step at a time, starting with the guidance of a better attorney than the one you have.
We are here for you to vent, cry, or get advice. You can do this!

Does your mom have a diagnosis of cognitive impairment in her medical records? Has her doctor ever given her the test? Sometimes mild memory loss will still be acceptable for assigning a PoA but the attorney overseeing the paperwork will interview them each separately and privately to make this determination.

Your only other legal pathway is to pursue guardianship through the courts. It is expensive and time consuming but will give you the authority to manage all their affairs (and in your case it would be x 2, so not sure this is even financially do-able unless they have the funds to cover the expense).

With no PoA or family guardian, the count will need to become their guardian since the law requires there be a legal authority for each person. I'm going to send you a PM (private message) so please check for it on your Profile page.

If yesterday's (August 9th, yes?) type of situation arises again, you call the bank with your father standing next to you. You introduce yourself to the call handler, and say "my father, Mr CJLC, is here to speak to you and give his permission for me to explain his instructions." You hand the phone to your father, the call handler will run him through the security questions (which you can support and prompt him with), and you should then be able to complete the call.

That's first aid for banks, utility companies, anyone else who can only deal with their customer or his nominated representative.

Can your father attend the office to create a POA for you? That would be better than nothing.

Otherwise you're looking at guardianship.

If your mom has been diagnosed with dementia she no longer can sign anything legal. Check with you Association in Aging https://askjan.org/organizations/American-Society-on-Aging.cfm

Question what your attorney said before taking your mom out. Contact an elder law attorney or contact your area or state attorney bar association

Best wishes

Why not have the lawyer go to their house to transact the business at hand.

Dexpending of the state you live in there are some elder law attorneys that will come to their home. They will assess the situation and make you aware of the options. Had to have lawyer come out for mother in law. Depending on the situation you could say for safety reasons such as balance if it exists to get the attorney to come to the house. But, there is a possibility that the only option is to take them to a lawyer. Make sure it is an elder law attorney. Conservatorship/guardianship maybe the only viable option.
Best of luck