Exhausted and need direction and answers...

Maybe she did some activity around this time, like bill paying, that’s jogging her memory? Does she get mail reminders? Emails?

Based on the doctor's dx back in May that you posted (and BarbBrooklyn copy/pasted), your mother DOES have dementia, which you also state in your profile: "I am caring for my mother Dianna, who is 72 years old, living in my home with age-related decline, alzheimer's / dementia, anxiety, depression, and diabetes."

That said, your mother is exhibiting typical signs OF dementia by accusing you and everybody of putting her in a hole, stealing her $$, and confabulating stories that aren't true. Watch some videos by Teepa Snow that cxmoody gave you a link to, and Google "Teepa Snow videos" if the link doesn't work for you. Go to Alzheimers.org to read up on the subject as well. Look into Memory Care Assisted Living Facilities *ALFs* if your mother gets to be too much for you to handle at home. My mother has advanced dementia and there is no medicine that helps her.......in fact, they all WORSEN her symptoms rather than help them.

Wishing you the best of luck accepting the dementia diagnosis and learning to deal with the difficult behaviors that accompany it.

I read this in one of your previous posts: "She called my sister at midnight and told her I was mean and wanted to go to her house in the neighboring state."

Why does your mother live with you? What are the long-range plans for her care? Are you going to eventually become her 24/7/365 caregiver?

What does your sister do to help? Are there other siblings?

Isn't it more likely that this regular date is when she finds out she's got less money than she thought she had or would like to have and instead of looking the financial facts in the face she blames the poor OP?

But anyway - Nikiniki, where was your mother living before a) and what are her options now b)?

It reads to me as if your mother is more difficult when the moon is full (eg 22 august). There have been several discussions about this on the site, and there are traditions of ‘werewolves’ or ‘white nights’ in many cultures – perhaps too many to treat it all as rubbish. At a minimum, check whether mother’s room is dark enough, and whether she is sitting in the evening in a place that is very light. Light certainly does interfere with sleep, and disturbed sleep can be enough to cause other problems. Worth looking at, perhaps?

You may need to keep playing detective.

Anything different each month at that time? UTI flare up? Regular call from a relative that causes stress/feelings? A full moon? Sounds crazy, but hospital ERs say things do get worse...

Niki, you wrote this back in May:

Update. We took her to her appointment yesterday. I told her she had her Dr appointment and took her to lunch and was in pretty good spirits before appointment. She had forgotten it was the mental health Dr by the time we pulled up I was scared she wasn’t going to go in. But we made it in and she was really liked the Dr. we walked in and she had me stay for the 1st bit of appointment. She asked mom a few questions and mom started getting defensive and tried to push it my direction so I could answer the questions but I just said the appointment is for you and she needs to hear from you. She later asked me a few questions to clear a few things up but in the end I left and they talked and tested her and when I came back in she told me she had cognitive dementia and gave her a couple meds to help and some ideas of things to do to help slow it down. Reading, bathing, interacting etc. Now to read up on all this to understand what is heading my way and know how to better help her. Thank you for all your help.

So, mom HAS been diagnosed with dementia. Are you now doubting that that is the case? It sure sounds like dementia to me.

What else happens around the 17-20th of each month? Mail, phone calls, visitors, appointments that might trigger these thoughts? This is so interesting. I would keep a journal for sure to see if any pattern emerges.
Yes, she could have a mental illness that includes delusions but the timing would still be a puzzle. I would try to record her on your cell phone if you have that capability then you could share that with her doctor. It could be something very simple that triggers her. I hope you can figure it out soon for both your sakes.

She seems to have her outbursts the same time of month every month. Very consistent and almost word for word. I’m just very confused on weather it’s something besides dementia. And how to find out for sure.

Maybe this video will help.

https://youtu.be/WARI6N-g-0Y

It is on determining dementia.

Early stage I think it hard to diagnose. As time goes on she will worsen. Hopefully, one of the doctors was a Neurologist.

Maybe you could try video taping to show her dr so he/she can get a better idea?

When was her last bloodwork and urine checked? If not recently I would make sure to have both those done as well as reach out to a neuro/neuropsychiatrist or geriatrician.

My mom does not have dementia but has a lot of cognitive issues from her stroke. UTI can bring on very strange behaviors in older/elder people as can electrolyte imbalances - and a host of additional things including depression and other mental health issues.

Many here who have experienced dementia can probably give better advice pertaining to the waxing and waning in the early stages.
wishing you some answers 🦋