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Marie1978 Asked August 2021

I have a 64 yr old husband with severe neuropathy in his feet and lower legs, now making its way to his hands, pain abounds. Suggestions?

He wants to ride my son's motorcycle. He hasn’t riden a motorcycle in 30 years. His dr told him absolutely not too. Since he can’t feel his feet and he has poor balance problems. He has asked over and over to ride the bike and my sons tell him no. He could be seriously injured or killed and my son doesn’t want to live that. Anyway things always get heated and same questions are asked with the same questions answered. I don’t think he should try either. But then he gets really mad and sulks. Any suggestions for us.

JoAnn29 Aug 2021
Let him sulk. He should not even be driving a car. Does he have a Motorcycle licence and insurance? If not #1 reason why he shouldn't drive. Does he not understand that how serious his problem is?

Is the bike where he can see it? If so, maybe son should find another place to store it. Out of sight out of mind. Stop discussing it. Your husband very well knows why he can't ride it. When he asks, ignore him. Tell him you will no longer discuss why he can't ride. And I suggest if DH still has his licence that you ask his Dr. to report to DMV that he can no longer drive.

vegaslady Aug 2021
Good idea about a support group. If he hasn't ridden in so long and keeps up with this absurd idea maybe he needs to have an exam for his thinking. Seriously, is this the only issue he's stuck on or are there other issues? Is there a way to have anyone take him for a ride in one of those side cars that go on a motorcycle? I don't know if that's a good idea or not but maybe the struggle of just getting in would discourage him.

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Lizbitty Aug 2021
My father is 75, in good health, and twice now he has nearly been killed while riding his motorcycle. He did nothing wrong - cars weren’t looking and hit him.

You are right to be concerned and to refuse, but that doesn’t change the fact that your husband’s body is betraying him and he’s angry. It’s not your fault, and you’re not really who he’s mad at anyway. He’s just mad at the whole situation, and that he can’t be like the rest of us and do whatever he wants to do. It’s not fair. He has a right to be angry, and that’s what he’s got to come to grips with.

It might help if he can join an online support group - think AA, but for people struggling with neuropathy, or severe diagnosis. It might help him if he hears other people’s stories, and realize he’s not alone in this. As much as you love and care for him, (and I mean this kindly) you really have no idea what he’s going through. If he can touch base with other people like him, it might help.

Worth a shot, I say. Best of luck.

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