Should you encourage Alzheimer’s patients to remember?

No, do not try to get him to remember. My sisters kept trying to "jog" my mother's memory by showing her photos albums. This only made her more anxious. She has Alzheimer's--not Amnesia! She is not suddenly going to "snap out of it" one day. Just be patient and compassionate. Do not alert him to his forgetfulness. Do not try to use logic or try to "teach" him. Just move on. I find now that my mother prefers quiet. The less talking the better because she can't keep up with the conversation. She also gets very anxious when two people are talking to eachother in front of her. She gets really upset when two people are talking ABOUT her in front of her. Or when two people are telling her what to do. One person at a time! I learned a lot from Teepa Snow as mentioned in one of the other responses.

People talking to your husband should say "John its Harry how are you doing" but this rarely happens. The word "remember" slips thru.

You can say when you met someone out or they visit "John its Harry Jones coming to visit". It will take a while to process.

I went to Church one Sunday and spoke to a man I had known practically all my life. As always he took my hand and said "hi Peggy". I did not correct him because at least he got the right family. I look like my Mom and she had passed by this time. He was in his late 90s at the time and is now 101.

Forgetting names is very common with AD patients. Your husband is no longer capable of remembering names or even relationships. Remove the word “remember” and the phrase “do you remember” from your vocabulary. Not being able to recall names, yet being asked to, will be frustrating for him, and may cause him to be upset or even become angry at you.


One way to address this is to have people reintroduce themselves every time they meet him. “Hi Joe, I'm John your friend”, or “Hi dad, I'm Mary, your daughter”. If he asks who you are, or what your name is, merely state “I'm Jane your wife”. Don't prefix you're statement with, “don't you remember, I'm your wife”. No, he doesn't remember. Not remembering names and relationships is very difficult for the family to understand. How can someone who I've been married to for so many years, forget who I am? Well, they do. That, along with so many other unexplainable symptoms, is part of the AD journey.


Getting hourly rates for in home care differs from agency to agency. You might call your local Area Agency on Aging to start with. They may be able to give you some average costs to get you started.

Sorry, duplicate. Removed.

I wish you well with this very hard learning situation. I hope there are other replies that can help with this.

Have a look at the Teepa Snow YouTube's & website. I don't know if your spacific question will be answered, but her overall approach of care is to look for the positives. Celebrate and give positive reinforcement of the things he CAN do well.

Although I can't see any harm in providing easier alternative ways to deal with challenges like names. Eg calling everyone Dear, Mate or Buddy.

I image dementia as some of the lights inside the brain flickering or turned off. Asking to try to keep the lights on won't be within his power. So I personally wouldn't try to encourage better memory.

When my DH wants to complain about how I could stack a plate better in the dishwasher rather than the 5 loads of washing I just hung out, another little crack appears in my heart which hardens towards him. It would be much nicer to be thanked for what I did do.