Has anyone felt freedom as I do finding a very compassionate AL for a narcissistic parent w dementia? I am finally off anxiety meds!

Shelle, well done!

Your story serves to remind others that they do have choices and taking care at the expense of your own well being is NOT the only way.

I have no way out and I am profoundly ashamed of myself because I've been in elder homecare for almost 25 years and allowed myself to fall into the trap that I've warned family caregivers about for years. I've become the "solution" for my mother's care needs and the convenient choice for everyone.
Yep, I got 'Voluntold' and now I'm stuck in a huge, steaming pile of misery, negativity, and drudgery with no way to shovel myself out.
I'm sharing in your joy right now that you were able to find a good, safe place for your father where he will be properly looked after. You don't sound heartless either. The Covid lockdown gave a lot of caregivers a bit of respite that they otherwise would never have had. It even gave me a little bit because my mother wasn't able to add any new doctors to her already Lourve-sized collection of them and her current collection weren't seeing patients in person. Unnecessary doctor's appointments are my mother's favorite social activity. They give her a new audience to complain to. So this meant I got a break from what was prior to Covid lockdown nearly daily doctor's appointments of some kind. I'm happy for you that you got out from under the heavy and miserable burden of elder caregiving.

Yes, after having my Mom for 20 months. She was easy to care for but the Dementia did me in. I don't do well with the inconsistency Dementia brings. Not knowing from day to day how someone is going to act or react. Being responsible for everything. Moms, her bills her house which was an albatross. When I placed her in an AL, it was so nice. Yes, I still was responsible for things but I wasn't "on duty" 24/7.

The first night she was gone I had the best full nights sleep.

Good for you, Shelle, in realizing what your caregiving limits were, and doing the research to find a wonderful facility for your parent. I didn't necessarily find freedom in placing my wife in MC at the time, although now that you mention it, I realize I did feel the freedom to restart my life. Relief was the principle emotion I felt at the time. Thanks for your post and alerting others to the importance of POAs.