I'm a caregiver. I've been caring for my mother for years now, all my energy and time goes into her, never having time for me. Is there care for caregivers who basically have had enough of doing this alone? It has taken a toll on me, need help.
What others have said is very good. If you are interested in respite care, you might want to look at alz.org and call their help line for info on any financial help available for respite care. I was able to be provided a grant (free to me) for a caregiver to come in and sit with my wife while I got out of the house. There was a certain amount of money in the grant and it had to be spent only on respite care for me and there was a time limit to spend it all. But I thank God I was able to take advantage of it.
I am with Burnt on this and I am not beyond a little threat.
It maybe time to place Mom. Does she have any money? If not, there is Medicaid. You will need a doctor saying she is 24/7 care.
I took what Mom had that covered 2 months of private pay in a NH. I started the Medicaid application in April. She was placed May 1st and after confirming her money was spent down and info provided, Medicaid started July 1st.
I was able to visit and enjoy her instead of the constant worry.
First I would suggest "Googling" to see if there are any local caregiver support groups in your area, as being able to share with others in similar situations is very helpful. Most are still meeting on Zoom right now, but as I learned with my support group, they're definitely a Godsend, whether in person or on Zoom. Next it is so important that you take time away for yourself on a regular basis to do things you enjoy. Now that may require you using some of your mothers money to hire some outside help so you can do just that, but it will be worth every penny. There are also Adult Daycares where you can drop your mother off for up to 8 hours and they will feed and entertain her, all for a reasonably small $ amount. I know in the city I live in, the charge is like $53/day or so, and again worth every penny. You must come to the realization that you are just as important as your mother, and take the necessary steps to care for yourself, as you certainly don't want to be in the statistics where the caregiver dies before the one they're caring for. Your mother certainly wouldn't want that, so start taking some baby steps today to start making yourself a priority. God bless you.
I'm in the same situation as you because it's all on me. You're not alone. So, I'm getting a job. I can no longer be an unpaid slave (I mean caregiver) 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to my mother and nothing else. Outside home/health care will be the ones taking care of my mother while I build up my bank account again. I most strongly recommend you do the same. If your mom has money, spend it on hired homecare. If she has private insurance that will pay even better because it will save money. Or adult daycare may even be an option for you. You have caregiver burnout and so do I. Take back some of your life. You don't owe it all to your mother and neither do I. Of course there will be fussing, complaining, and fights because your mother and mine don't want strangers coming in. Well, that's just too bad. I told my mother that the choice is accept the outside help that will be coming in or it will be a nursing home. I suggest you tell you mother the same. The guilt and conditioning our parents lay on us from day one has a way of reducing us right back into being obedient children who want approval from mom and dad so we do as they command. We are adults, not children. We do not have to spend every minute of our lives in miserable servitude to our elderly and needy parents. Get yourself a job if you can. Consider the time away from your mother paid respite for you.
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I was able to be provided a grant (free to me) for a caregiver to come in and sit with my wife while I got out of the house. There was a certain amount of money in the grant and it had to be spent only on respite care for me and there was a time limit to spend it all. But I thank God I was able to take advantage of it.
It maybe time to place Mom. Does she have any money? If not, there is Medicaid. You will need a doctor saying she is 24/7 care.
I took what Mom had that covered 2 months of private pay in a NH. I started the Medicaid application in April. She was placed May 1st and after confirming her money was spent down and info provided, Medicaid started July 1st.
I was able to visit and enjoy her instead of the constant worry.
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Next it is so important that you take time away for yourself on a regular basis to do things you enjoy. Now that may require you using some of your mothers money to hire some outside help so you can do just that, but it will be worth every penny.
There are also Adult Daycares where you can drop your mother off for up to 8 hours and they will feed and entertain her, all for a reasonably small $ amount. I know in the city I live in, the charge is like $53/day or so, and again worth every penny.
You must come to the realization that you are just as important as your mother, and take the necessary steps to care for yourself, as you certainly don't want to be in the statistics where the caregiver dies before the one they're caring for. Your mother certainly wouldn't want that, so start taking some baby steps today to start making yourself a priority. God bless you.
If your mom has money, spend it on hired homecare. If she has private insurance that will pay even better because it will save money. Or adult daycare may even be an option for you.
You have caregiver burnout and so do I. Take back some of your life. You don't owe it all to your mother and neither do I. Of course there will be fussing, complaining, and fights because your mother and mine don't want strangers coming in. Well, that's just too bad. I told my mother that the choice is accept the outside help that will be coming in or it will be a nursing home. I suggest you tell you mother the same.
The guilt and conditioning our parents lay on us from day one has a way of reducing us right back into being obedient children who want approval from mom and dad so we do as they command.
We are adults, not children. We do not have to spend every minute of our lives in miserable servitude to our elderly and needy parents. Get yourself a job if you can. Consider the time away from your mother paid respite for you.