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Kmi7688 Asked September 2021

My father has Parkinson's and Cognitive delays, so he has not driven in a year, but wants to. Should I let him?

My father has never been a great driver, and over the past 7 years, has not made great decisions while driving, but thankfully no one was hurt. He had a major fall last year and was in the hospital/rehab for months, and has not driven in over a year. He recently wants to get back to driving, but I am very concerned it is not a good idea. He says it is not fair for me to tell him what to do, but I can't get him to see that he shouldn't be driving. Am I being unreasonable?

JoAnn29 Sep 2021
Get his doctor to contact DMV and have his license revoked. Also have his doctor sit in front of him, look him in the eye and tell him that he no longer can drive. His Parkinsons prevents it.

Then you hide his keys and disable the car. If you can, take the car to a relatives house. Out of site, out of mind.

My Dad was a stubborn man but I saw more and more him allowing Mom to drive when they went out.

Mepowers Sep 2021
No you are not being unreasonable. He should not be driving. Trust your instincts on this. And no matter how well you try and handle this, your father will be angry, so be prepared. Good luck.

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LoopyLoo Sep 2021
Hell no!!!

katepaints Sep 2021
No! Giving up driving has to be just about the hardest thing for a family and the person who shouldn’t be driving anymore. Their judgement is impaired. My grandfather had been in the military and insisted on driving even though he had dementia. He’d get lost. My uncle had a friend with the state highway patrol who came over and told my grandfather he couldn’t drive anymore. Authority spoke to him. The Alzheimers Association addresses this on their website. Sometimes someone outside the family carries more weight than a family member who may be perceived as being bossy.

rovana Sep 2021
Please, please do whatever you need to to shut this down - save some innocent lives. You do not have to get his agreement to do what you know is right. Just do what you have to to keep him off the road.

Frances73 Sep 2021
Are you prepared to tell the family of the person he hurts or kills why your dad should be allowed to drive? If he is so insistent and you can’t say no don’t let him drive alone, someone should always be with him to handle the police, insurance, medics, etc.

I had neighbors once, 2 elderly sisters who lived together. One had a valid drivers license but had gone legally blind, the other sister didn’t drive. So sister 1 would drive the car and sister 2 would give her directions! Still makes my blood run cold to think of them on the road.

Midkid58 Sep 2021
Good heavens, no.

Besides what damage he could do to himself, think of the lives he could impact by driving!! When my mom could no longer see over the dashboard she lost the 'privilege' of driving.

MargaretMcKen Sep 2021
One compromise could be to drive him to a large off-road car park, at some time when there’s nothing there (weekend at an office park is good). That’s where I took my daughters in the early stages of learning to drive. Then hand it over to him to tootle around in for a while. Give him something tricky, like backing into a car park with trees on each side. With any luck, it will avoid a fight, and you will both work out that it isn’t a good idea.

Gracie61 Sep 2021
No, but you don't have to be the bad guy. Tell him part of rehab is doing a driving evaluation. They have companies, and they can tell him he failed. The people that did my mom's was associated with a rehab hospital; they evaluate people after recovery from injuries, and also do plenty of seniors. They did a short cog test, and reflex test with a simulator where she had to brake etc, then did a road test in a vehicle where the instructor could take over if necessary.

Im not sure if they are all like this, but mom's instructor said they reported to DMV

MJ1929 Sep 2021
Of course not. His driving days are over, and that's non-negotiable.

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