I care for my Mom on a daily basis. I do not live with her, but I'm burnt out. She also calls me to tell me how depressed she is. Advice?

You can't make your siblings help out. But YOU don't have to, either!

How is that you are the one who does all of the caregiving?

Knowing that you probably can't make your sibs participate more, what are your plans to decrease your involvement and stress?

So sorry you are going through this. I am an only child but it seems that even where there are sibling one person kind of gets "stuck" with being a sole caregiver. You have some great suggestions here but you should also realize that your siblings may not ever quite understand your caregiving role and how consuming it can be. In any event, you need to have your Mom assessed so you can get some outside help to care for her. Try contacting your local Office on Agency for suggestions on how to go about getting an assessment. It also may be time for Mom to move into a facility as if she needs all this help from you, she is clearly no longer "independent". If finances are not an issue you can pick a few facilities that are nice and present them to your Mom and your siblings. If sibling don't like them, then they can select a facility but set a "drop dead date " of when you will no longer be supplying care whether she is in a facility or not.
You need to take care of yourself because if something happens to you Mom is going to be siblings problem and they will find out about caregiving the hard way.

Your mom has depression. Is that being treated by a geriatric psychiatrist?

If not, please take her to one. If she is already in treatment, the prescribing doctor needs to be told she needs a meds adjustment.

Your mom is 91 years old. Maybe she'd have more distractions and options for activities in an AL care facility. Loneliness is brutal and many elderly suffer from depression -- it can be part of dementia. If you are her PoA, why not take her to her doctor to see if meds can help her mood? We started to clearly see signs of dementia in my 89-yr old aunt, and one symptom was that she cried continually. Her doctor prescribed meds and it helped her a lot. She's 99 now and just becomes more negative: negative thoughts and delusions. She's healthy and well-cared for in her own comfy home with family around her -- yet, she can't appreciate her situation.

Even if your siblings orbited around your mom, her outlook may not change at all -- respectfully I think you are being unrealistic in your expectations and should read up on aging decline and dementia so you have a better understanding of it.

Also, your siblings aren't obligated to participate in her care at all. That's their choice, even though you don't like it. Better that you face this reality and move forward to better your own circumstances by finding a care alternative for you mom, like AL or in-home aids. You must make your own health and well-being a priority. This in no way makes you an unloving child. Caregiving is so hard on so many levels that a study showed that 20% of caregivers died before the people they were caring for. Please don't let this be you.

If you are her PoA then please start looking at options to increase outside care for her. She may not like it but remember that she may not like ANYTHING that changes her daily routine. If you aren't her PoA you can inform your siblings that as XX date you are completely done providing her care and managing her affairs -- and then do it. If you make yourself the easy solution they won't ever see a need to step up and step in. It may be rocky for a while but things can get better. May you gain much wisdom and peace in your heart on this journey.

Sounds like you need to have a frank conversation with everyone. Maybe set up a Zoom or Google Meet so you can all meet virtually. Try not to act accusatory, and instead focus on “I need help, I can’t keep giving at the same pace. This is the reality of what Mom is like.” See what they offer. If they have money, maybe they can pay for PSW’s to provide companion care for her. That would take a load off you, and would stave off loneliness and depression on her end. It’s what I did with my MIL who lives with us, because I cannot sit with her for hours a day, and that’s what she wants with me.

Best of luck!