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Melo78 Asked September 2021

How do I cope with caring for and making decisions for my mom (75) battling multiple myeloma?

She was diagnosed over 10 years ago, had a stem cell transplant 5 years ago and has recently suffered a pathalogical fracture of her hip. She has become so weak and frail over the last few months and is barely moving with a walker at this point. I am starting to wonder if we are at the end. She is still eating but is losing about 2 pounds a month.

GardenArtist Sep 2021
Melo, see if you can locate a Gilda's Club in your area.   They offer a variety of support programs for people dealing with cancer, for the individual as well as for the family.   

You might also search CURE online; it's a magazine addressing multiple aspects of cancer and living with it.  I've found their articles so helpful that I now have 3 notebooks full of them.   A lot of insight, personal experience and good advice are offered.

There used to be in person programs whereby patients and their families could meet with others addressing similar cancers.   I don't know though if that's still being done given the pandemic.

Just a few of the articles, although some might not be appropriate for your mother's cancer at this time, there still might be some helpful information.

https://www.curetoday.com/view/treatments-for-multiple-myeloma-are-transforming-lives

You can subscribe online to CURE's newsletters, or download the issue with relevant articles. These options are at the bottom of the cited page.

https://www.myelomacrowd.org/how-long-will-i-live-with-multiple-myeloma-and-is-there-a-cure/   (from a different source)

I also agree that a conference with a hospice representative would be appropriate.  When my father reached that point (not from cancer though), I contacted several, and found that the religious hospice was by far the better option.  

Some of the hospice reps asked questions which I later learned weren't allowable, some were aggressive and wanted me to sign up quickly.  But the religious facility arranged for me to meet with 2 people at their facility, and we had a very good, relaxing discussion about what was involved.   I made the decision, and never regretted selecting that hospice organization.

Grandma1954 Sep 2021
I would suggest Hospice.
She would get more personalized care from a Nurse that would visit weekly, a CNA that would come a few times a week to help give her a shower or bath, change bedding if needed and order supplies. Medications delivered as well as all the supplies and equipment that you would need for her to remain safe.

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MJ1929 Sep 2021
Multiple myeloma is a tough one. My aunt lasted six months after being diagnosed, but another friend lasted nine years.

I agree that it's time to bring in hospice, because it'll provide you with support as well as Mom. You won't have to take her to the doctor any longer; they'll come to her.

funkygrandma59 Sep 2021
Perhaps it may be best at this time to get hospice involved. They will supply any needed equipment, supplies and medication for her, all covered 100% under her Medicare. They will also have a nurse come once a week to start, and aides that will come about twice a week to bathe her. You will also have access to their social worker, and chaplain which may be helpful to you as well.
My husband was under hospice care for the last 22 months of his life, so don't think that just because you get hospice involved that your mom is going to die soon. It may just be the support and help that you are needing to carry on.
I wish you and your mom the very best.

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