I know that we are in lockdown right now but even before the lockdown. My brother-in-law with his new wife started living with my mom-in-law. My mom-in-law lives in a housing commission house with his daughter as well. The new wife treats my mother in law like her servant, eg. making her cook when she invites her friends, leaving the house for my mom-in-law to clean up the house. She leaves her daughter 6-7 days to be looked after by my mom-in-law that she can't even visit us nor visit her friends nor sleep-over in her sister's place to spend time with them because the new wife refuse to stay home and look after my niece. Now she is pregnant again and she told me that she again will not be staying at home when she gives birth. I ask her who is going to look after both her children and she said my mom-in-law. Now, my mom-in-law has been complaining to us about that issue and she feels threatened. Her freedom is threatened, her ability to do what she want is threatened. Now husband is very worried about my mom-in-law and his sister have been manipulated to just say yes to the new wife. My brother-in-law doesn't really care because by the time he gets home from work. His wife will tell him a different version to make her look like she is the good wife and make his sister and the mom look like the bad people. My mom-in-law has health issues and me and my husband feel that she will end up being burnt out by the situation. I already spoke to the wife and she told me that my husband and I won't be able to do anything because what she says is what needs to happen and no one can stop her.
His wife would come home from work, sit in the lounge, watch TV and play games on her phone and would hardly play with her daughter or even help out my mom-in-law. When the baby is hungry and starts eating from everyone's plates she will slap the babies hand and scream at the baby and yet she feeds herself first before the baby because she is waiting for my mom-in-law to feed the baby. She will wait for my husband's sister to come home for her to give the baby a bath. If not, she will wait for my mom-in-law to wash or give the baby a bath.
When she end up buying some groceries, when she comes home, she will leave the groceries on the table for my mom-in-law to pack it up while the wife will go back to the sofa watching TV and playing with her phone.
I watch her do this while I was there observing not saying anything to see what my mom-in-law is talking about and it is true when I watch her do all that.
She doesn't know the law of Australia because came from Fiji and she is Indian. She has no regard that she is living in the house of my mom-in-law. My brother-in-law, and his wife yet they both don't pay any bills or pay my mom-in-law for looking after the child. The person who pays the bills is husband's sister and sometime my mom-in-law. Please tell me what can me and my husband do to help the abuse to my mom-in-law stop? Who should I see? The problem is in Indian culture it is normal for the mom-in-law to be treated this way by the wife. I want to let them all know that this is Australia and this is not how it goes here. She thinks she can do what she wants. I want to let her know that whatever she is planning my husband and I will not let that happen again once the baby is out.
During the weekend the wife will ask my husband sister to go out to the shop and again leave the daughter to her. If she is at home in the weekend she will be in her room or again lounge sitting on the lounge watching TV and playing games while my mom-in-law and my husband sister does house work but once my brother-in-law is at home. Then she starts pretending to be helpful at home.
Please help. What can we do to stop this abuse cause my mom-in-law is afraid to speak up?
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It seems as though governmental levels need to become involved and "counsel" the domineering woman, or find ways to remove her from the home.
I could go on, but it appears that the wife is lazy and your MIL is enabling her behavior by not objecting to her. More than likely, when your BIL’s wife moved in, they set up a routine in which your MIL picked up the slack and no one objected. Now your MIL feels put upon, but that’s for her to speak up.
I think your heart is in the right place, but you need to try and take a step back to be a bit more objective. It’s nice that you’re looking out for your MIL, and maybe you all can have a sit down to talk about it, but I’m guessing your MIL will just cave and pretend it’s not a big deal because she doesn’t want the wife to hate her or seem like she’s making a fuss over nothing. I’m sure it’d be nice for her to help out more, but some people are just lazy. Vilifying the woman is unhelpful to solving your problem.
Best of luck.
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Also, your sister-in-law (brother-in-law's wife) is being an absolute entitled piece of garbage. I am in my early 30s, and I have a strong belief that if you don't want to take care of your own children, don't breed. I even think this applies to wealthy people. Plus climate apocalypse is brewing, one is enough. Awful and I'm sorry you're in this spot.
Maybe Mom needs to go to the Commission and tell them it started out as helping family and they now have worn out their welcome. Or, do an eviction.
You know its MILs fault that it has gone this long. Its her home and from day one she should have set boundries. Seems she is afraid of this woman and her own son. I am surprised the sister has put up with this.
Think its time for a family meeting with some honesty. Just the kids. No in-laws Brother needs to be told time to find his own place now another child is on the way. That Mom deserves her house back and to be able to see her friends. That she is not his wife's babysitter. That they have freeloaded long enough. If they leave mad, they leave mad.
Your MIL may be afraid to speak up if no one is there to back her up.
So you and your husband stand by her while she tells her son and his new bride to get the hell out of her house. If they refuse, well you're in Australia. I'm so sure the police will handle any refusal to vacate on their part promptly.
You and your husband need to back your MIL up though. She's afraid won't take any action or even speak up if no one is going to support her.