My family is falling apart. What can I do?

POA ends at death. So sister no longer has any control.

I would go with a vote and that is where mom gets put to rest.

I am sorry for your loss, I pray that your family is given wisdom, comfort and guidance during this difficult time.

I am so Very Sorry to hear about the loss of your mom...especially given this just happened, emotions must be very raw and I wish you and your family much strength, comfort, and continued healing during this difficult time. During times of such loss, family emotions can run extremely high (understandably so); which can ultimately create more friction rather than unity (which is most needed).

As such, is there another close family member, that you can all agree on, who can decide where your mom be buried? Perhaps all of your siblings are too close to the situation right now...and if your mom had any siblings of her own..or next family member who you all respect, then it will give you all a chance to step back and accept whatever is decided - rather than it become a power-play between sisters/siblings. Once this is taken care of, and your mom is put to rest, I hope the healing for your family will begin and you can all come together.

Sending prayers and positive energy ~

So sorry for your loss. Don't pick sides. Let them hash it out. And the ones disabled, as long as someone is overseeing them, put them on the back burner for now. Then hopefully you can sit down with the other w siblings and figure out how the others will be cared for. One day at a time.

I am sorry for your loss. I lost my mother in June, so the feelings are still present. Grief affects each individual differently, and given that this just happened, each family member will deal with it and handle it differently. You say your family is 'falling apart'. Is this a directly related to your mother passing? Getting to such a point usually take many many years and even decades. Your mother passing might have just brought everything to the forefront.

You say your sisters are fighting about where to bury your mother...did your mother have a will - did the will state what and where your mother wanted done? Is there anything in writing?

You say 3 of your siblings are mentally disabled - who was taking care of them prior to your mother's passing? If it was your mother, then her legal documents should spell out who is to step in and take over, or what is to happen in the situation. Who is appointed to handle all the legalities that are involved with the passing - notifiying government agencies, banks, utilities, insurance companies, etc? That is the person who should be making the decisions.

People will not go into counseling unless they perceive that there is something that needs to be 'fixed', and from what you are saying no one admits anything. The dysfunction, if not professionally addressed, will continue no matter what you do or say. You cannot control other people- how they are, how they think, how they act. You are only in control of yourself and how you react and how you are. Set up your boundaries - don't get sucked and participate into the ongoing nonstop drama. What will happen will happen and unfortunately, you are not in control of all your other family members and you, by yourself, will not be able to 'fix' or 'save'. I know that it might be hard to abide by this, since it is your family, but at some point you have to accept things the way they are-especially if noone else wants to fix things.