I have an 84 year old mother. She is mean and hateful and more. Advice?

I don't know how much more of my mothers mean and hateful and rudeness I can take or her mood swings. She is so negative and miserable. I mean I understand she's sick a lot but I can't take much more of her saying hateful things about my grandson and my daughter, his mother, and I'm sick of it; she always has something to say about my kids or grandkids. But doesn't want to hear me tell her well what about your kids where are they. One of my brothers calls her and sends her things for holidays and things nd she complains about it but when she talks to him oh she's so nice and says Thank you. He doesn't know how mean she is. But I'm here and try to help her but nooo she has to play the Martyr an oh when I'm sick due to Lupus at times oh she wants to help me but it comes at a price later when angry she throws it in my face. I didn't realize just how messed up in her head she really is till later but more and more I was feeling guilty of my thoughts about her. I Iove her but can't stand her. I don't like her anymore and I'm trying to hang on to what love I have left!!! Tired of her constantly trying to have me be in this house miserable with her like a tomb. I'm done and I told her that I won't wait to die in here. I'm single and trying to date. Then if I go on a date she says stuff like maybe you can get him to help us here with some stuff, I'm like noo. I'm trying to not tell her too much about anyone. Cause she tries to take my friends over and then tells my son when he has me come over with his family to his place an we go to leave, she proceeds to tell him doesn't like being here alone so then he says mom maybe you should stay here so he won't take me to go with them. I said to him oh no I'm going! She was doing that on purpose because she tells me well why don't you move out. I Can't take anymore it's insane !😬😒😡😟☹️😩😱😲 I want my life back without the guilt!!!