Anyone taking care of a parent with dementia in their own home?

It must be where the fellow posters live, but I have never heard of such long waits in LTC. I was able to geypt my Mom in the one I selected wuth no problem. But I live in a small, populated area.

Time to place Mom. He care is going beyond what you can physically and mentally handle.

My MIL moved in with us in August. Her dementia is much farther along that we had thought, and my SIL doesn’t want to see reality. She sees MIL’s sundowning as “just being old”, or “well, it’s a new situation for her”. Doesn’t want to recognize that this is dementia or Alzheimer’s (we still don’t have a diagnosis).

I just met with the RN last week, and the wait times for LTC is insane. In my community, 5-7 years. In my preferred community there is a new LTC home, and the wait list is 13 years…. Insanity…. However, we found a LTC home nearby that is only 3.5 years, so we’re thinking that will be our number one. We’re doing fine now, but I know a little of what you’re going through when considering 24/7 care. I think it’s time to acknowledge that it’s unsustainable. Time for LTC. Moving her there doesn’t mean that you don’t love her. It just means that this is what she now needs to thrive. And really, that’s the most important thing.

From your profile: "I am caring for my mother Maria, who is 82 years old, living in my home with age-related decline, alzheimer's / dementia, anxiety, arthritis, depression, incontinence, mobility problems, osteoporosis, and sleep disorder."

How did it happen that you moved your mother in with you 5 years ago? (Is that when you moved her in?) What is her financial situation? Do you have siblings?

Are you ready to consider facility placement for her?

You have given so much - a wonderful 5 year gift.

Alz is progressive, the care needs increase, so it follows that the help must increase too. Without this extra help, caregiver burnout will occur.

It is good you recognise this & are speaking up.

The usual advice is:
When informal supports (family, friends, neighbours) is no longer enough, formal supports are required: either hiring aides/services to visit the home or moving the elder to a facility with 24/7 care.