My momma has bounced back by the Grace of God 3 times after hospice had said it’s time. This will be the 4th times she’s took a decline. A series of things are happening differently this time. She’s more forgetful. More agitated. Still somewhat mobile with a walker but very paranoid. Hiding her meds. Picking at her clothes and sheets when sleeping. And literally sweating to the extreme of soaking wet after napping or sleeping. I’ve been off work with her since July 30 of this year. My leave of absence ends the end of this month of October, will be 12 weeks. Honestly, I’m afraid to go back. Not sure company will allow me extra time. I guess My Q is, has anyone’s loved one sweat so profusely at the end of their days of life? I am Completely exhausted from up and down with her and not much sleep at all the past 2 weeks. Sometimes I just Wish it were all over, love my momma but watching her suffer is very hard. Hospice has been great but I just Can’t handle much more.
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A few weeks ago I visited and she was in her chair all flushed and said she had been throwing up all night. Shortly after she was moved into the "transition" phase where she is now bedridden. On my first visit, she was agitated, picking at her clothes and bedsheets and crying out random names. The hospice nurse gave her Lorazepam for her anxiety. She was only drinking small amounts of water.
Fast forward a couple of weeks and she is still weak but is lucid again. Last time I was there she ordered an omelette (which was okayed by the staff) and we fed her small bites. She still says she is uncomfortable, and who wouldn't be laying in bed 24 hours a day, so I try raising and lowering her bed. She has occasionally said she wants to die, but the body goes when it is ready. I really have no idea how long she will linger, but it is heartbreaking to see.
So, it is so hard to say when your mother will finally pass. I agree with others that you should go back to your job. My mother lives 25 miles away and I honestly hate making the trip but I go several times a week. The days I don't go I know she is getting the best of care and there is nothing I can do anyway. When I've gone I've held her hand, but that isn't going to bring her back. I feel your pain, and I'm so empathetic to what you are going through.
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