Coping strategies for Abusive demented parent?

Are you looking for fresh ideas how to respond?

It can be hard to have all the tips & tools ready - to annoyances, to verbal abuse, manipulation or physical abuse - whatever it is you are dealing with.

It may be useful to know the motivation for the behaviour eg hunger, pain, sundowning time, delusions.

Not to excuse it, but to change, avoid, head off at the pass, minimise etc.

Place the abusive demented parent in managed care.

If you are being physically abused, call 911. Dementia or not, no one has the right to lay a hand on you.
If its just verbal, walk away. The first time tell your abuser you will not tolerate the way they are speaking to you, and walk away. The next, don't say a word, just leave. Any subsequent time, leave.

When anyone including a dementia patient is abusive it is a deal breaker. It is time for a facility. It is that simple in my world.

Sophe, you have been on the site for a long time, but perhaps it would help to go back to the Care Topics that are relevant. Click on Care Topics at the top right of the screen, then on A for Abusive Relationship, and you will find 12 Articles, 576 question threads and extra discussions that might help. Then do the same for AZ, Burnout and Parents.

You haven’t given any details, and perhaps you don’t want to. Reading the old stuff on Care Topics might help you with suggestions, or perhaps just help to clarify details about the current problems. That might mean you can get more relevant answers. Best wishes, Margaret

If anybody is abusing you, you need to change the situation. The abuser probably needs psychological evaluation and treatment. The person abused definitely needs to not live with their abuser or have to face abuse any longer. If you are the live-in caregiver to an abusive parent with dementia - please consider getting them placed into a memory care unit that will accept their finances.

Was the parent abusive before the dementia? Context for what you’re dealing with now would be helpful.