Considering sending my partner, who has dementia, to Thailand for care. Thoughts?

Question

B

berkeleycowboy Asked November 2021

Considering sending my partner, who has dementia, to Thailand for care. Thoughts?

I've been taking care of my partner who had a stroke and now has dementia for two years. I have someone coming into the house for four days a week but I still take care of him in the evenings and three days a week. I work on top of all this and am exhausted. The problem is that he gets such good care that he could live much longer.
There are medical hospitals in Thailand for people with dementia that look very nice and are someone affordable.
I'm considering this option even though it will cost me out of pocket.

Does anybody know how the airlines deal with someone with dementia on a plane? He would need to be in a wheelchair and medicated to keep him quite.

Assisted Living Care Decisions Moving

13 Answers

Most
Helpful Newest
First Oldest
First

Recent Questions

Related Questions

score 0 · Answer 1

Did you see a nice video on it? I saw a video a about a beautiful care resort. Like the others said, there's a lot to consider. The distance, the language, the ability to visit them. Really, do your research.

Helpful Answer (0)

score 2 · Answer 2

I am sorry you are going thru such a stressful thing with Anders and sorry to suggest your post may have been a troll post, my apologies. You have too much on your plate, being an amputee yourself. I suggest you look into different SNFs for him here in the US, they aren't all horrible like the one you had him in a while back. See if a social worker can help you.

I read the Guardian article about the care homes in Thailand people from the UK are using. According to the article, 1 on 1 care in a care home there costs 750 pounds per week which is roughly $1021 or $4084 per month. My mother is paying $6800 a month here for Memory Care Assisted Living but its definitely not 1:1 care or like a 4 star hotel. And the caregivers don't get in bed with her if she's having a rough time of things, that's for sure. But it's a nice place with great carers nevertheless, albeit expensive.

I certainly wish you good luck in finding a solution to this problem. Godspeed, too. All the best.

Helpful Answer (2)

score 2 · Answer 3

berkeleycowboy, if your partner gets Social Security, you may want to read this booklet about Social Security payments if outside of the United States. https://www.ssa.gov/pubs/EN-05-10137.pdf

Helpful Answer (2)

score 0 · Answer 4

After reading all of the concers and recommendations I agree that its a crazy idea to even go down this path of sending him to Thailand.

I'm tierd, my stum is sore and not sure what to do.

Helpful Answer (0)

To BCowboy - I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such a difficult time. It sounds like you are trying very hard to help your partner. Your providing more feedback is really helpful in order to fully understand. Unfortunately, I wouldn't know how to provide the right advice, but I'm sure others on this forum can be of better assistance regarding suggestions.

I hope you find the right advice to help you and provide direction and guidance and support. Wishing you much peace and blessings ~

(0)

score 4 · Answer 5

This seems like it could be a troll post. Is the idea to ship this loved one off to a foreign country for care, never to been seen or dealt with again???? He'll be all alone in a foreign country, not speaking the language, with no friends, family or loved ones to visit him, feeling abandoned?? And sent off alone on a plane, medicated to 'keep him quiet' for the length of a very long trip??? Sounds inhumane to me, unless he's of Thai descent and has family in Thailand.

Something about this post is 'off' in my opinion, in a bunch of different ways.

OP, if you are really considering such a thing, put the shoe on the other foot and think how YOU would feel if it were you and HE were shipping you off to Thailand for care. That should answer your question.

I know it's hard to care for someone with dementia, but consider Medicaid and allowing him to stay in the USA in a SNF where he can have visitors!

Helpful Answer (4)

I hear your concern so let me elaborate. Anders doesn't have any money saved so would end up living in a SNF. Temporarily Anders stayed in a SNF where he had to share a room, the food was terrible and staff left his room window open at night. The roar of TV was such you could never sleep. It was difficult to get staff to change him when he was wet. Staff were too busy to provide any attention or emotional support. They would put patience in the hallways during the day so rooms could be cleaned. He would sit there in a wheelchair for hours on end with staff that would ignore him because they were too busy. The building was setup like a big donut and in the middle patience went outside to smoke. A good memory care facility is going to cost anywhere from $10K to 12K per month and Medical will not pay for this.

I've already been taking care of Anders for two years and am getting tiered. How much longer can I do this, I don't know.

The places that I'm thinking about are like four star hotels. Anders would have an attendant around the clock.

Anders never lived with me and we ever never maried. I've been trying to find a soft landing for Anders for the last two years.

My health is declining because I have very little time to excercise and relax. I'm an amputee. Right foot amputated.

I'm taking care of Anders with the help of a caregiver for four days a week.

I don't know how much longer I can go on sleep deprived, over worked and stressed out.

I also work at least 50 hour on top of my caregiving responsiblities.

I've been praying for a miracle but am starting to loose hope.

This is the article I found regarding the Thailand Mementia care facilities. I would end up paying aprox $10K per year in addition to his social security disability funds.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2020/jan/12/families-sending-relatives-with-dementia-to-thailand-for-care

(0)

score 2 · Answer 6

From the OP's profile:

"I am caring for my husband Anders, who is -1 years old, living at home with alzheimer's / dementia, anxiety, incontinence, and stroke."

This makes me wonder even more why she (?) would consider sending her husband to Thailand? I think something's missing from the details of this situation.

Helpful Answer (2)

score 0 · Answer 7

Is there a reason he cannot get Medicaid here? Or afford a nice AL. If you are not married, the cost would depend on his income. Hopefully, you kept your finances separate. You are not responsible to pay for his care.

If not a citizen of Thailand, I would think he needs a visa and then set up residency.

Helpful Answer (0)

score 3 · Answer 8

Ok, color me confused.
You are caring for your partner and in your profile you say you are caring for your husband and your partner. Are they the same person?
Unless your partner is Thai and has family why on earth would you send him there? Even if he has family medical transport would be outrageously expensive.
Airlines, at least ones for general transport would probably not accept a medicated passenger as trying to get them off a plane in an emergency would put others in jeopardy as well as crew. Someone would have to accompany him for the entire trip.
There are facilities in every country for people with dementia, stroke and other conditions that require 24/7 care.
All places "look good" on line, in brochures and on tours. But you still have to be a presence so that the staff knows someone is keeping an eye out for the resident. Your role changes somewhat when you place a person in a Skilled Nursing Facility, Memory Care or even Assisted Living. You are less of a Caregiver but you assume the role of ADVOCATE.

Helpful Answer (3)

score 1 · Answer 9

Try applying for Medicaid instead and place him in a nursing home here. If you and he are not married, I can't believe you're responsible for paying for his care.

Helpful Answer (1)

score 3 · Answer 10

Excuse the bluntness, but why would you consider a country halfway around the world, unless your partner is Thai and has family there? And consider ZippyZee's points about the political instability of Thailand.

Helpful Answer (3)

score 4 · Answer 11

Are either of you Thai? Does he speak Thai? Would you be moving as well? Moving a dementia patient across the world for caregiving site unseen seems like a really bad idea. I know alot of Westerners retire there and love it, but still...

Where did you hear about this place? Just online?

Thailand is currently under the control of a military dictatorship as well. I'd proceed with extreme caution.

Helpful Answer (4)

I, too, agree with ZippyZee...this is an extreme move for someone suffering with dementia and a lot of information hasn't really been provided in the post to understand why Thailand?

BerkeleyCowboy - are you moving with your partner?...why Thailand?...who would be looking in on him there?...have you visited first-hand and spoken to their staff?..if you'd be paying out of pocket, have you researched other options here?..does he have family here?..does he speak the language there? It's a big step - a lot to consider without knowing more details.

(0)

score 1 · Answer 12

Is he from Thailand?

Helpful Answer (1)

score 1 · Answer 13

He would need someone to accompany him to Thailand. The airlines do not have adequate staff to care for him. Would he need help with eating and toileting him?

Helpful Answer (1)

Considering sending my partner, who has dementia, to Thailand for care. Thoughts?

13 Answers

Recent Questions

Popular Questions

Related Questions

Ask a Question