With the dementia he would probably be better off in Memory Care rather than AL. Not that he would but in AL residents are free to leave the building. If he got it into his head to go for a walk it is possible. If you do not wish to remain in the same facility, I am guessing you are in Independent Living you can look for an apartment or condo that would suit you. If he has other medical conditions that require more skilled care it is possible that moving to Skilled Nursing is a possibility. If he is a Veteran please look into any services or benefits that he is entitled to. Check with your local Veterans Assistance Commission. they can look up his service record, their services are free.
Do you share a living space? That could be very expensive if you are in one part of the facility and he's in another.
You could have a small studio apartment that is not part of this facility and go to see him as you see fit. Nothing says YOU have to do 24/7 caregiving if there is already CG for him in his 'contract'.
It's so hard to watch a LO 'forget' us...my mom is sliding into dementia and it's so hard to watch and experience with her. She's healthy, at 92 and could very likely live to 100. But she's beginning to not make sense in conversation and cannot carry a train of thought for more than 5 minutes. I still DO go see her, but keep visits short and when she begins the slip into la-la land, I know it's time to leave.
You deserve to have a life, and you can accomplish that AND care for DH. It will take some doing, but it's possible.
I read that you don't have a car--and that is a problem that can be solved by budgeting for Ubers on the occasions you need them.
It probably boils down to finances--so make lists of the costs of living apart vs living in the same facility.
And DO NOT FEEL GUILTY if your decision comes down to leaving him in the care of the ALF. That's' why they are so pricey. Let them do their job and you carve out a life for yourself.
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Not that he would but in AL residents are free to leave the building. If he got it into his head to go for a walk it is possible.
If you do not wish to remain in the same facility, I am guessing you are in Independent Living you can look for an apartment or condo that would suit you.
If he has other medical conditions that require more skilled care it is possible that moving to Skilled Nursing is a possibility.
If he is a Veteran please look into any services or benefits that he is entitled to.
Check with your local Veterans Assistance Commission. they can look up his service record, their services are free.
You could have a small studio apartment that is not part of this facility and go to see him as you see fit. Nothing says YOU have to do 24/7 caregiving if there is already CG for him in his 'contract'.
It's so hard to watch a LO 'forget' us...my mom is sliding into dementia and it's so hard to watch and experience with her. She's healthy, at 92 and could very likely live to 100. But she's beginning to not make sense in conversation and cannot carry a train of thought for more than 5 minutes. I still DO go see her, but keep visits short and when she begins the slip into la-la land, I know it's time to leave.
You deserve to have a life, and you can accomplish that AND care for DH. It will take some doing, but it's possible.
I read that you don't have a car--and that is a problem that can be solved by budgeting for Ubers on the occasions you need them.
It probably boils down to finances--so make lists of the costs of living apart vs living in the same facility.
And DO NOT FEEL GUILTY if your decision comes down to leaving him in the care of the ALF. That's' why they are so pricey. Let them do their job and you carve out a life for yourself.
Wishing you the best.
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