Elderly father has been diagnosed with personality disorder from his history of errant behavior. Anyone else have a dad like this?

Dad is 92 with a Dementia. He should not be living alone. I hope you are still placing him in MC for the month. Do not rethink this. You need some time with your family. I doubt if he is aware its Christmas or not. If Dad can afford MC for any length of time, I would leave him there. I would use up what he has and 2 or 3 months before its gone, I would apply for Medicaid and get him into Longterm care. He can no longer make decisions for himself. If he fights u on it, call in APS. You can always allow the State to take over his care.

You have gone over and above for this man. You really owed him nothing. Children of abusive parents should never care for them.

If you provided some more info it would help give context to your situation, so that forum participants can give you their best suggestions.

- how old is your father? how old are you?
- what state are you both in? (helpful to know for assistance resources and more)
- why are you the only person caring for him?
- are you his PoA or legal guardian?
- are you voluntarily caring for him or do you feel trapped, like there's no other options?
- what other solutions/resources have you tried?

I'm very sorry that you are struggling in this situation. However, your father had his whole life to plan for and take care of himself. You are not obligated to be his rescuer, nor are you responsible for his happiness. Also, you said he caused you much pain and grief in the past, so maybe you have trouble identifying boundaries and have a co-dependent relationship with him. Have you ever been to a therapist for your self?

If you are not his PoA or legal guardian then social services can come in and do an assessment for in-home services. As your father's dementia becomes progressively worse and his care becomes more intense, the county can gain guardianship and then they will manage his medical and financial issues and eventually place him in a care facility. If you are all alone in caring for him and neither you nor he are independently wealthy, then the cost of his care will eventually become unaffordable and the physical provision of his care will become exhausting to you.

You may want to call social services in sooner rather than later so that you can know what help is available now and later. I wish you much success in getting answers and finding help.

Can other arrangements be made for him to relieve your aggravation? There may be other solutions. What have you tried?