What POAS, and other legal docs do we need to have and/ or directives? And as she loses the ability to make her own decisions or should become incapacitated and need decisions made for her such as financial medical or in areas of proper medical care and decisions need to be made by someone else such as myself when she’s unable to do it on her own due to lack of mental capacities or knowledge due to dementias? We would like to keep her in her own home as long as absolutely possible. This is her decision, those this week that’s her twice but we do not have any documentation. I’ve had a hard time explaining to her just heard a mouth does not count because they need documents with all the written documents notarized, whatever all the things that are legally necessary we need to get this done ASAP because she is beginning to lose the knowledge needed to make some proper choices and especially financially things. Along this line and we have limited income, baby both are live above that is a live on her Social Security retirement pension and the savings trust that’s left we have. I am unable to work at this moment because I cannot leave her home alone but Housel cannot leave her with her phone receive incoming calls. I cannot live let her have access to car, cannot Really leave her unsupervised at this moment and this is been almost an overnight thing with the decision making and commonsense issues. I think that she still fine other than the hombres the falling and things like tha,t but I need to know what we can do so I can get control of these other things before we end up on the street and she doesn’t want to nursing home. I don’t wanna put her in a nursing home and the stress is getting to me. I need we need help. I need to know what we need to do it. I need to know ASAP so we can keep her home. I can help take care of her and I can find things that can help me with the stress of all of this with the help with the whole thing. I don’t know I don’t understand everything. I don’t know I don’t just forget it wasn’t to the point is it in the middle with my late husband. That's a totally different situation. He’s the one person in my life he’s always been constant and always been there and I’m about to lose her so she’s been almost 96 years old and then I have no one left after her other than my son. I’m losing my rock and my foundation so then we had that issue I have and now she’s losing some of her ability to make decisions like they’re spending decisions and not giving out information of phone I have tumult I had to check the mail. I have to go through it sheet I need to know what I can do to get this stuff under control before both and out of the street some curb and difficulties that may be present present themselves to us especially in today’s economic and social environment that has occurred in the last two years. Her and I have both always sick. She would stay but I want you to live with me. I will take care of her whatever it takes forever long as I can and she has decided I am when she wants to make the decisions for her when she can’t when it comes to you do you a hurt her desires what should she become unable to make her own medical decisions and all that. I wanna do any and everything I can for her is proper and correct what she wants because that’s what she does that for me but I also need to be able to monitor every other aspect of the home and care and finances to when she is no longer able to read. Right now because of finances suddenly she has had to know exactly when it happened that’s been less three months it has now become out-of-control just all of a sudden it’s in her face and I think it’s been needed the money to everybody gets and ask for some anybody that has for donations what’s money telling her she’s one money but she has pay money to get a things like that he stop this evening scams cards and she’s forgotten how to balance checkbook she’s forgotten the limits & I need to get control
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But I just got through reading your OTHER post about her being scammed out of money, driving and getting lost, etc. In no way is she able to stay in her own home when she can't make safe decisions for herself.
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/what-steps-do-i-need-to-take-to-be-able-to-control-the-decision-making-471211.htm?orderby=recent
If she hasn't already created the legal paperwork to assign a PoA, and she's already so far gone I don't think she'll ever be able to do it (or afford it). Now you call APS and report her as a vulnerable adult so that they can place her in a care community where she'll be protected and cared for. The romanticized notion of her aging in place will be a disaster for someone with her amount of cognitive decline.
FYI the banks have their own process for PoA and they will most likely require that she come in person so they can interview her. I doubt she'd pass their interview questions.
You should probably take her to Urgent Care to be checked for a UTI, to make sure what's going on with her bad and dangerous decisions isn't the result of an infection, which if left untreated, could turn septic and kill her. Please act right away. Make up any "therapeutic fib" you need to in order to get her to cooperate. I wish you all the best as you work to protect her from herself.
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