I worked in emergency aging care for years and was able to advocate for everybody who needed help. Now I cannot advocate for my wife.

You need an Elder law Atty. They can apply for you. & also advise on best route. You can get very stressed from paperwork.
Hugs 🤗

Check with your town or county for assistance.
AARP has an ombudsman program that might also help.

Remember experienced employees nearing retirement chose to retire early when COVID shutdowns closed everything. There are many newer employees everywhere that do not have enough good experience yet to handle their loads quickly or efficiently. Keep plugging away at it, save your work, make copies of all case/file numbers, and find out if there is a "supervisor" that you can call when you get a "live person" on the phone.

Thank you everyone for your kindness and suggestions. This forum helps me a lot and there is no place to talk about these things, and not many people want to listen , unless they have gone through this or are going through this. Thank you everyone, and HAPPY HOLIDAYS, we do the best we can.

If you have not already, I suggest going in person if possible. This made all the difference when we went for my husband’s Social Security disability. I know it is not always possible, but we just showed up in the office with a desperate look of we need help.

Sir, you have my utmost respect for what you're doing. And I believe you need an attorney - there are some that do "pro bono"work - free - start looking up attorneys, or google them - pro bono attorneys. Don't give up! You're fighting a war that needs to be won by you, so don't accept no, and don't give up!! Justice will prevail. You're in my prayers. J.

I did not read all the responses so don’t know if this was suggested. Have you considered reaching out to your local state representative? I live in both NJ and PA, I just had a fiasco with unemployment during Covid. Long story short I received umeoyment but from the wrong “program” and they want me to pay it all back. I appealed and lost. My next step was our local state representative. I sent him all the paperwork and he is now working on it because like you…..calls and emails go unanswered. Mind you this was PA so not sure if you can reach out to a NJ rep. Good luck…..dealing with the government is insane…..crazy before Covid but definitely impossible now.

I live in NJ and have been handling grandson's Disability and unemployment for him. He was turned down for both. He had a brain operation in Sept 2020. He lost a job in June 2020 where he was let go without reason after over 4 yrs working there. They denied him unemployment for "misconduct". He had never been reprimanded or given written notice. It was found that the company was at fault and unemployment was reinstated 5 months after he was let go. Then disability denied him because he didn't send in a form. I did the appeal and proved that every piece of paper was sent.

He has never received any unemployment because after numerous mailings, they have as of yet told him how to go about getting it. He cannot do this online because he needs a lump sum. He did, after a number of mailings, get his Disability but it took months.

Like you, we tried calling only to get the message that because of the volume of calls we would have to call the next day. I did everything by mail. When they claimed they did not receive a form, I started sending them certified mail keeping the proof it was sent.

You should have been told there was an appeal process. I then would have printed out all the emails and info you sent. I would then certify mail them to the name and address on the appeal. A cover letter would have been done saying that the following info was emailed on ? to this ? Email address. If receipt was confirmed, show that. If not, say that. To be honest the government never confirms receipt. I always have to send another email or call the office asking for confirmation. For some reason, caseworkers cannot just call you when something is not right.

COVID is pretty much the problem. Offices were closed to the public but caseworkers were still there. I believe they intentionally don't answer phones. My grandson has still not received any unemployment. At this point he has a very good job, his license and life back. He is not going to worry about the six weeks of unemployment he is due at this point. Its a shame because the State is getting away with not having to pay.

I'm really sorry. Obviously you're doing everything right (from your own words: "I worked in emergency aging care for years and was able to advocate for everybody who needed help." You're not the sort of person who needs advice like "Make sure you check off everything they ask for" and "keep a log of phone calls." You did this sort of thing for a living. Luckily a few people did respond with what you asked for: advice on advocates.

You got hosed, either by bad technology or by a bad employee. I recognize that you're venting.

I've had a terrible time with the local social security office in a neighboring state. Same sort of thing: 3 different answers from 4 different clerks, telling me to sit by the phone and wait for a supervisor to call and it never happens, putting me on hold for "just a moment" which turns into 2 hours and ends with the line going dead. People on this forum need to understand, too, that everything is more difficult because of COVID. You can't just waltz in in person anymore. A lot of the people answering the phones in these agencies are working from home, and there's less accountability than there used to be. We can't just assume that the person posting has failed to do some obvious thing.

I forget (hahahahaha!) why I had to call the local Social Security office recently, we're chatting about benefits, I brought up Medicaid and they were so helpful with information about it, in relation to my husband. So, whoever you're talking to, try to add in the conversation "Oh yeah, by the way, I was wondering about _____".
I make copies of everything that goes out to any agency. Seperate paper files, as computers aren't exactly reliable with stuff like this.
Can you fax the paperwork to a specific person/office? It's expensive, but they can't say they didn't get it either.
Mail can't be ignored if it's sent registered, with a signature.
Document all phone calls in a log. As well as being low key, polite and informed of what you're asking for when speaking to them. I always use please and thank you and mean it. Whatever it takes to get stuff done.
Oh, and COMPASS is kind've notorious for being wonky. Sorry.
The District Attorney for PA is Josh Shapiro, check the website, maybe there's something of use in it.
I'm in the middle of Pa., and there are two (2!) certified elder lawyers here. I will be calling them for a few things in the weeks to come.
Keep going, fight the good fight, and persistance pays. Good luck!

Have you tried calling a state social worker from the elderly services division? I would consider calling APS, only because they might be able to get help quicker. (not because you've done anything wrong)

In Ohio you go to a Family and Jobs and Family Services office, take a number, and wait to be called to be assigned a case worker. This can take several hours. When I went through the process for Dad I arrived before opening to get in line. I had to submit EVERYTHING in hard copies, they did not accept digital documents. Even then I had to go back several times with new copies because things got lost or mislaid.

When I applied to the VA to get an Aid and Attendance pension for Mom it took even longer. I printed and sent all the documents in a registered package. Oddly certain items, that had been stapled to other docs, were missing and that took another several weeks to get straightened out. THEN I had to be confirmed as her Fiduciary which involved phone interviews and documentation with a case worker to confirm my honesty and good faith. She was actually a big help in getting things straightened out.

All that being said, it seems that anything having to do with the government requires a lot of time and persistence. A lot of time. Someone I know who works for the federal government says they are using computer programs that are hopelessly outdated. There are employees who seem to go out of their way to be obstructive and others who are wonderfully helpful and caring.

Sources I have found helpful include Catholic Family Services who put me in touch with pro bono legal advice and any number of veterans websites. Many doctor's offices and insurance companies have social workers on staff who might help.

This is not a plug but a lovely lady at A Place for Mom steered me to Aid and Attendance which is a pension for veterans and their spouses who served in the military in time of war. We got Mom $1200 a month so it was well worth the time and effort.

I also contacted my Senators for help. One was very responsive, the other took several weeks to reply. (Guess who I voted for!) How about contacting your state senator or local representative? That way your request is part of the public record. They all have websites with email and contact info. Go public on their Facebook or Twitter sites and see what happens! Good luck.

There are advocates.

This might be something a Geriatric Care Manager can help you with. They act as your advocate for a time.
Unfortunately, they are expensive, but I heard they are worth it.

I don't know if they help you do the paperwork.

Another option is to ask a para-legal, hiring them by the hour.

Or, a social worker from your Senior Center, Area Agency on Aging. Someone has to come out to your home to do an assessment on the hours your wife might need.

Don't feel bad that you were not yet successful Mr. Ellwood. When it is personal to you, it is always harder to do for some reason. A personal delivery, hard copy packet to the recipient, (have them sign for it) may work.

Be sure to check off each item they are requesting. Add a cover sheet itemizing what is included. Are they asking for originals of documents?
An appointment in person may be required (by them). Take someone with you to just sit with you.

When I was better at helping people, I adopted the mantra:
"What can be done with paperwork, Can be undone with more paperwork."
Always appeal a denial.

Some caseworkers are intimidating and even dismissive to some clients. It is "as if" their jobs are to deny applicants. (Maybe, just maybe, this is their job!) Do not hesitate to go to a supervisor, not to complain or correct a worker, but to have them review your documents and packet, get your wife approved.

In the meantime, re-submit your info via their website. Do not stop to explain what they think you did wrong. Send in a complete packet again.

There are attorneys who help make applications.

I read that during the pandemic, our local legislatures offices were helping people navigate the applications for unemployment, and other helps.
This could be your State's Assemblyman or Senator's office. Give them a call.
One call from their offices and you might be treated better by Medicaid.

And another idea...hire a Caregiving Agency, who might assist you in making the application. They might do this because they would be getting a client to send in-home caregivers for your wife.

And as a last resort, if you are aged and just cannot do what is required, call APS and have your wife ask them for help = taking yourself out of the equation.

Contact the Medicaid office in person. Ask to be assigned a Medicaid caseworker. Or go to a Medicaid planner or Elder Law Attorney who specializes in Medicaid. Your profile says you are in New York but you are applying In PA??