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memsobelle Asked November 2021

Navigating the holidays while caregiving

For many years I took care of both my mom and my dad. It was difficult to get them both out of the house, so I would do my best to fix a traditional holiday dinner so that we could eat together and reminisce about better times. As time went on and my mother passed away I was able to get my father out of the house for a few years, but then that became too difficult. I remember all to well watching the cars pass by from the window wondering where everyone was going, and imagining the good times with family and friends that awaited them. I don’t think I’ve ever felt quite so lonely in my life.


All that said, I wanted to let those of you that are homebound know that I’m thinking of you, and I understand the difficulty and the depression of missing out. I used to tell myself “ this won’t last forever!”even though it seem like it would. Now that this is all over, I really do miss my family and would do it all over again to spend time with them.


A big hug to you all.

memsobelle Nov 2021
Thanks, Lizbitty. I have a loving boyfriend and his amazing family that treat me like one of their own. But I still miss my family. They’re all gone, other than some cousins who live out of state that I rarely hear from.

Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I’m sorry to hear about your dad.

Lizbitty Nov 2021
Aw, thanks and I hope you have a Merry Christmas.

Now, it’s a month away, but barring some miracle, it’s doubtful my dad will be out of the hospital after his stroke. I’m planning on visiting him on Christmas morning, but will probably only stay a half hour or so (I have two small children under 8 yrs old, so that will be a busy morning). However, I can’t bear the thought of not visiting him on Christmas Day, but I know I’ll be his only visitor that day, which makes me a little sad. It’ll probably be the worst Christmas of his life, but hopefully he won’t remember it.

Ya know, I was talking to an elderly lady today - we were both in the checkout line of a Dollar Tree, my arms full of Christmas bags and such (I’m desperate to have everything done and wrapped before December 1st). She told me about how alone she was and how it was just another day now that her mom had passed, and she reminds me of you. It was so sad I was half tempted to invite her over for Christmas dinner - a complete stranger (unfortunately, it won’t be close by - if it had been at my house, honestly, I would have). I hope you can reach out to someone near you, maybe a cousin, a friend, or even a friendly neighbor and invite yourself along. It’s a day to smile and remember, and be together.

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