What can I do I am losing my mind?!

I would suggest professional counseling for you so that you are able to exit your abusive situation, and so that you will not choose to repeat the mistake of being unable to judge character in the future.
Other than that I find myself enamored of RealyReal's idea.

How do you break the cycle of abuse?
Break free from an abuser by refusing to give him or her the power to affect your view of yourself and your capabilities. End an abusive relationship by focusing on healing yourself first. Finding people who will offer support is a powerful tool to help you break the cycle of abuse.

Call
1.800.799.SAFE (7233)
TTY 1.800.787.3224

You might want to consider staying with this bad dude!
Why?
1) Because there will be no one to help you leave, you must do that yourself.
2) Because even the police or Sheriff's will be unable to come to your aid in a domestic dispute-they are afraid even the victim of abuse will turn on them, and they may get shot, as so often happens in reality.
3) Because if law enforcement comes, they will come armed, maybe with guns drawn, and someone could get shot.
4) Because if there are drugs being used, you both will be arrested whether or not you are doing drugs.
5) Because right now you are saying "It's Not That Bad".
6) Because there is something in it for you to stay, and you have not figured that out yet.
7) Because, many posters will drop by to protect your side to say: No drugs were mentioned by the OP; They will say there has been no mention of a gun;
they may say I am being harsh; they may want to discuss your victimization for a week or so, when you should have already left EX-boyfriend's house by now.
8) And because you know better, but have done this (mutual exploitation) anyway.
So stay.
It has more to do with domestic abuse than caregiving, imo.

What can you do? You can say NO! Have enough self-respect to remove yourself from a situation where a supposed 'loved one' is calling you demeaning names and throwing your things in the garage, not paying you, and treating you like garbage. You're worth more. If you can't see that and have to ask 'what can I do about this'? then I think you need to seek out a therapist to help you. This is just a chat forum and there's only so much we can help with.

Good luck to you.

Krista - you said you've been doing in-home care since you were 16 y.o., so you've had a lot of good working experience taking care of sick people. With such a resume, you can find a job somewhere else where you're treated with respect and dignity, and be well paid.

I am truly baffled as to why you have to stay in a job that screams out "Be treated like a slave, and may not get paid". Please explain your reasons for staying in this job.

On top of that, I am further amazed that you had to ask strangers what to do about the situation . Why don't you know what to do?

Perhaps, you really are losing your mind, because if you were in your right mind, you wouldn't have done any of this, and if you did it by mistake, you would have immediate undone that mistake, and tell yourself to wake up and not be foolish.

There's a similar thread in all of the advice that you're receiving on this site - and I hope you do take it!

Feel fortunate that all the signs that you need to make a decision are already there - your ex-boyfriend has made it easy for you to leave now. The living situation will not change with him and if this is how he's treated you already, it only gets worse from here. Don't wait to try to see if it improves - you'll only be wasting more time that you should be spending on future plans for yourself.

Take care of yourself - and not him!

Sooooo...he's abusing you, you're caring for him for ZIP since he's not paying you? Take it from this old lady: Get. the. heck. out. End of story. If you have to stay at a hotel, friend's couch, shelter...get out. End of story.

Ah, the whole "if I put a roof over your head, you owe me your life" gambit.

The fair market value for 24/7 one-to-one care, at $20/$25 an hour, is $170K per year. The cost to share a house is realistically $12K-$24K a year. That's no bargain for you, really.

DO NOT, DO NOT get re-romantically attached to this guy again. See him as a client. He's not giving you the $20-$25/hour and wants to make that rent? RUN RUN RUN

As you say this is your ex-boyfriend. Don't take the position. Whatever amount it's supposed to pay isn't worth it.
Get a different job and move out of his place. He is abusing you by constantly threatening to throw you and your things out in the street. He will always treat you like a slave and once the actual payment starts he will double-down and treat you even worse because you're getting paid.
Live-in caregiver work is about the worst and most miserable job on earth. It's ten times worse if you're doing it for a person you have a history with.
Please pack your stuff up and go. Even if you have to take another live-in position temporarily do it. At least it won't be as bad as what you're living in now.

RUN, do not walk away from this situation!! You owe him nothing but will end up with MH and possibly physical issues from this situation. He's an "ex" for a reason.... not sure why you think you should be his caregiver but leave immediately. If you are concerned about his welfare, call APS. Make it certain that you are no longer his caregiver, you are not going to his location and he can't come to yours. You have no legal responsibility to care for him.

Yes, sounds like you are there. No Caregiver should have to deal with this, not even a spouse. As said an ex is an ex for a good reason. Move out now. This is abuse and could escalate. If you are worried about how he will care for himself, then call Adult Protection Services and tell them u feel he is vulnerable. Just say u were his Caregiver and he became abusive so u left. They will evaluate his situation and maybe be able to help with some resources.

You owe this man nothing. He may need help that no Caregiver may be able to give.

Move out ASAP and don't look back! It's as simple as that. You owe him nothing!

So it sounds like not only did he ask but, you have already moved in. Is that right?

If it is, then you give him a bill for services rendered to date and move out. If it is not, then you move on with your life and disconnect from him completely.

Many states, any monetary value under 3k can be pursued through small claims courts and is fairly cheap to do.

He is not your responsibility and his actions mean that you don't owe him or his needs any consideration. Get out now.

Run.

Krista79

Call a domestic abuse hotline and ask for help getting out. Follow through.

You are not losing your mind. Your mind is telling you to save yourself and you are not listening.

What would you tell a friend who would do this to themselves?
Wish the caregivers here had the power to help you leave immediately.

Throwing your stuff in the garage is a physical act of aggression. The physical escalates from there.

Do you have a "Go-bag" packed yet, because you might need to leave without any belongings at all.

What can you do? You can leave. I'm sure he's your "ex" for a good reason; remind yourself of that, and walk away before you become so entrenched in this situation that you become financially dependent on him.

Even if he were the nicest guy in the world - which it sounds like he's NOT - you wouldn't owe him anything. He'll figure things out for himself once you're gone. Leave.

IMO you state he is your EX boyfriend….I am not seeing your obligation except that maybe you are a rule of person that helps all. If your MH and well being is at risk, I would walk away. I know we do not know all your information regarding any of the details but based on what you stated….move on. Take care of YOU first.