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Alegria Asked November 2021

Accused of stealing, help!

My 88 year old mom w Dementia hides her money. Later when mom can’t find her purse, she accuses my sister, with whom she lives, of stealing her money. When my sister looks for it and finds her purse, this proves that she is stealing. So my sister refuses to look for it, and mom gets angry. This crazy stuff happens in a daily basis. Help!

Cashew Nov 2021
My Mom hides money. I expect it. When we come across some, we laugh and decide to go on a shopping spree. (usually 20-100 bucks) lol

Isthisrealyreal Nov 2021
This was what my grannie would do right before she needed to be placed.

Daily scavanger hunts and wild accusations. Funny now, not when dealing with it.

It is tremendously wearing to deal with, the only good news is it tends to be a phase that will pass sooner or later.

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gladimhere Nov 2021
Have sis find the purse, put it in an obvious location so mom easily finds it.

JoAnn29 Nov 2021
Your profile talks about Dad but nothing about Mom. Why is she not in the AL with him.

As said, this is the Dementia.
Alegria Dec 2021
I forgot about the profile. I will update soon, as Dad died last year. Now that Mom is the focus, I’ll add something about her situation l.
lealonnie1 Nov 2021
Paranoia and distrust is part and parcel of dementia. Your mother's brain is not working properly so she really believes your sister is stealing her money. Contact her doctor and s/he may be able to prescribe some medication to calm her a bit. It's very difficult to care for an elder in home who is suffering from advanced dementia, which often means placement in a Memory Care AL is required.

Good luck.

Bluekitty Nov 2021
Been there! Yeap . . my mom (88 - in 2019) at the time called the police on me! Good news is when the police came , they saw exactly what was going on. One of the officer's was going through the same thing with his aunt so he said. I had taken her DL, CC, and keys and put them in her office desk upstairs and locked the door.
Her DL was current. She was in NO shape to drive. Officer said I did the right thing, just didn't work. He suggested to disable the car. She even wrote a letter to her CC company and accused me of using her CC without her authorization. oye.
I got through all of it . .but damn - doesn't make taking care of someone easy.

Oh . .and the jewelry thing . .did the same thing . .locked it up in her office upstairs.
OMG . . . Ballistic was an understatement. The rage can be really hard to deal with. You try and do the right thing, and it blows up in your face . .right? ugh.


Just keep coming to this forum, and you will find comfort, and to learn how to better manage all the challenges you will come up against.

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