Is there anything mom likes to do outside the house that could be seen as a reward? Nice lunch out, perhaps, or shopping, or going to the park? Seeing people?
Offer to do any one of these rewards when she has a bath.
1. Consider what her normal routine is. 2. Ask her why she no longer wants to do what she normally does. 3. Take her reasons seriously, and accept them as valid. 4. Do what you can to address any issues which exist in reality. 5. Offer alternatives. As long as she hasn't actively taken against the caregiver, the caregiver can do this. Examples: offering to scrub her back/soak her feet/give her a manicure; bringing a bowl and flannel so that she can wash her hands and face; (discreetly) accompanying her during toilet transfers and offering support with adjusting clothing/changing pads/freshen up washes with soft wipes/sponge/flannel.
Don't be too "all or nothing" about this. Your mother's reasons are valid to her, even if they're unfathomable to the rest of the world. As an example, one gentleman declining personal care "explained" to me the other day that he had come at it from this side, and he'd come at it from that side, and here he was (indicating the middle) and this was him. Make of that what you will! But anyway he had a full strip wash this morning - perhaps he'd come at it from a different direction altogether :)
Do you have her bathroom set up with grab bars, shower bench, slip proof mat etc.? If not I would start there, as she may not feel safe to take a bath without these things. You can also just use the extra large body wipes, and the waterless shampoo caps to bathe her while she's just sitting or lying in bed or in a chair. Those items are really meant for the in-between baths, but work well and are better than nothing. Good luck.
FVVVV, we need more information, such as your Mom's age, any mobile issues, any dementia, etc. [it's not in your Profile]. That would help guide us to giving you a better answer.
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Offer to do any one of these rewards when she has a bath.
2. Ask her why she no longer wants to do what she normally does.
3. Take her reasons seriously, and accept them as valid.
4. Do what you can to address any issues which exist in reality.
5. Offer alternatives. As long as she hasn't actively taken against the caregiver, the caregiver can do this. Examples: offering to scrub her back/soak her feet/give her a manicure; bringing a bowl and flannel so that she can wash her hands and face; (discreetly) accompanying her during toilet transfers and offering support with adjusting clothing/changing pads/freshen up washes with soft wipes/sponge/flannel.
Don't be too "all or nothing" about this. Your mother's reasons are valid to her, even if they're unfathomable to the rest of the world. As an example, one gentleman declining personal care "explained" to me the other day that he had come at it from this side, and he'd come at it from that side, and here he was (indicating the middle) and this was him. Make of that what you will! But anyway he had a full strip wash this morning - perhaps he'd come at it from a different direction altogether :)
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