1st Fall: Hospital, Hospice, Help!

Once she's in the ED they are required to do a CT by the care guidelines. They're not going to sew her up and not assess if she's harmed herself--she's compromised by her dementia.

Keep in mind that the CT's a diagnostic tool just like the X-rays--It doesn't provide a level of treatment.
Either they did a head CT, with and without contrast, looking for a bleed, or they did a head CT and also looked at something else like her spine or hips. The X-ray was probably to look for broken ribs.
Unless you lucked out and have her at one of those facilities that provides a wide level of care, the MC's isn't going to take her back if she's got broken ribs, or if she fell because she was having a stroke--you'd be looking at skilled nursing or rehab first. Very likely this was why hospice was talking with the ED quite a bit--trust me, the ED was aware of your mom's status if hospice was on the phone.
If the tests in the ED showed she was having something acute like a brain bleed then the POA would be asked what their preferences are and would be able to initiate comfort care/ DNR.
I don't see that the ED did anything unusual, and whatever documentation is in her chart re: hospice wouldn't have been a reason for her to not get a 'Fall' workup so you could make informed choices about her care.

Thanks, everyone, for all of your ideas.

I feel supported, cheered on, and have learned a bit more then I knew before asking this question.

I appreciate you all for helping me still another time through this sometimes baffling season of life!

I have a typed page along with mom's DNR to go along with her en route by rescue to a hospital.

This info lives on her refrigerator and a copy is in her wallet.

She only had to go once during covid and i could not go in the ER. The ER physician and staff called me in a timely manner to go over her needs.

The fire/rescue staff really appreciated the one page typed med list along with 2 family numbers and a list of her diagnoses to date.

Her "to go" tote is always in the front room against a wall and clearly visible.

Is there a POLST done and on record at her facility? Is there a DNR and advance directive? Without your being there, and with the stress and lack of ability to even staff the ER right now I can't imagine what else you might do save give a call to the ER and ask to speak to the nurse. What a terrible burden at this time, and I am so sorry for all you are dealing with now, CX. I hope things go better soon.

I don’t have any good ideas for you, but I heard of this happening from a friend yesterday. Her brother in law was put in the hospital with some side effects from cancer treatment, and they treated him as though he had dementia. His wife had spent more than an hour the day before with the hospitalist outlining what was going on with his health and all about the cancer treatment, but when he ended up in the hospital again, nobody looked at any of those notes the hospitalist had taken. When she asked why not, she was told they treat the symptoms as they are presented not based on medical history.

I thought that was astounding.

CX, I just want to empathize. My brother, SIL and I once spent an HOUR with an NP at a highly rated hospital in Connecticut where mom had been admitted, going over mom's meds.

Come to find the next day that she had been given NONE of them and that those electronic "notes" had disappeared altogether.

I don't know the answer, but assuredly, you are not the one lacking here.

Please consider putting together a notebook or file folder for your mother's (and every person who can not advocate for himself or herself) care. In it, keep a copy of their medical and surgical history with dates. List their medications and the time the medications are given (really helps the nursing staff, like me). Also list all allergies to medications or other substances. If she has an advanced directive, DNR, and/or power of attorney for medical decisions, keep copies of those in there are well. This can help medical staff when "the patient" is not able to give those details. Ask the staff to make copies of all paperwork for their files, but keep the originals for your records.

So, they stitched mom's wounds and then ran some tests. What would you have WANTED them to do?

This is a fine line for hospitals. They see an elderly person with huge wounds, they are required to deal with those, along with THOSE comes blood tests (normal and standard) and then CT scans (also normal in the setting)...at what point would you have said "STOP". After the stitches? Just stitch up the obvious and send her home?

I wonder if you had done that and she'd had a subdural hematoma that could have been caught and remedied--but she died instead--would that have made you feel like the right things were done?

I'm not on your back--I'm just seeing how this can work its way into my life with 2 elderly moms--both have DNR's but both fall and are taken to the ER and treated. Minimally x rays and sometimes CT scans. Always, always blood work. I'm not the one who ever takes them to the ER, but they've both been, multiple times. To THEIR understanding, the DNR is only in effect when they are not able to make decisions anymore. A konk on the head wouldn't really do that--

Not trying to stir the pot, just really want to know how/who makes these decisions.

Clarify what she is under…. Hospice or palliative. While hospice provides palliative (comfort) care…. A new level of care is emerging that is called Palliative. Under this, you can receive all therapies, tests, treatments etc. My husband has been under Palliative care now for a few years. It is designed for someone with chronic issues who is not yet hospice eligible. It is a team approach to help make decisions going forward whether it is time to transition to hospice. The two are commonly mistaken for being he same (and sometimes it is). My husband has PD for 33 years and has had several issues that with the right medicine change and appropriate treatment plan he would bounce back almost to where he was. I know there will be a time that this will not be the case and hospice will be very appropriate but for now we have a palliative care team involved. Over 20 years ago he broke his hip and the rehab doctor seemed to write him off and had I gone along with his opinions and lack of care he would not have fully recovered…. Of course dementia was not an issue then. He recovered and is still walking with minimum assistance. So, I’m just suggesting to find out what plan she is really under. True palliative care and hospice are paid by Medicare but with hospice there are limits on charges they will pay. I totally believe in hospice when it is the right time. Our palliative care is provided by a hospice company but I can still pursue therapies, testing, meds, and treatments for him that I feel are appropriate. FYI, when my father was in assisted living with a DNR my sister was told he would still be sent to the ER because they did not like patients dying in the facility.

Most memory care facilities require a CARE documents package to be posted in a prominent place for the first responders to see. This package has her living will and other medical directives, and perhaps should also include a list of her medications. Maybe have two of them, (keep the originals) but have sets of copies made that first responders can take with them to the hospital. Talk to the nurse and case manager at your mother's facility about how best to handle this. You'l need their help.